


If I Never Meant to You

by Milanjones8888



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Agent Alex Danvers, AgentCorp, AgentCorp Week, Alex Danvers & Lena Luthor Bonding, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Baby Gay Alex Danvers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Alex Danvers, Jealous Lena Luthor, L-Corp (Supergirl TV 2015), Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Lena Luthor, Protective Alex Danvers, Protective Lena Luthor, Sad love, Soft Butch Alex Danvers, The DEO | Department of Extra-Normal Operations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:16:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 31,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27657404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milanjones8888/pseuds/Milanjones8888
Summary: Alex Danvers never thought about Lena Luthor, at all.. not like that..not in that way....The days they spent on the lab, saving Sam, and the day in Supergirl's absence, has change so many things about Alex and Lena. Instead of working ut out, they run away from each other. Both of them deeply in love yet don't believe in it.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 39
Kudos: 149





	1. A COLD NIGHT AT MY LAB

Lena Luthor doesn't like it, the idea of working with DEO, especially with Supergirl. Their good relationship was lost lately, at the day James told her that Supergirl asked him to break into Lena's laboratory, to check if she still had any kryptonite left in her lab. Her chest feels so tight right now, in this situation, Lena thinks Supergirl is her friend, _or at least a partner _, they have been work together, Supergirl saved her, few times, _so many times.._ , they spend good times, also the DEO and everyone else who is in DEO.  
But this moment, she can't avoid this situation, she have to save Sam, after all, Sam needs her more than anything, and she knows she will dive into the ocean for her best friend, for Sam and Ruby. __  
And now when Supergirl off to Argo city to find Harun-El, she tries to make herself more comfortable, it's her own lab anyway. _Her Lab Her Rule...._  
Until she realized she wasn't alone in this room tonight.

"I think I've told you to wear this, for so many times, Lena." a voice that she recognized so well, not very frequent, but sounds also familiar, and a sudden touch on her open skin as Alex come closer to put the lab coat over her shoulder.  
"On the DEO, _yes_ It's my place Anyway, Director," Lena says, her eyes accidentally meet Alex's eyes as she turned around.  
At the dim light, she can see Alex Danvers in a lab coat, wearing unfamiliar glasses that make her look like a nerd right now, for a moment Lena forgot about Alex's figure who is so strong in the field, the woman who once saved her life during L-corp re-branding day, Alex that is not like _that Alex _.  
This Alex looks so tired and sad, Alex who is not like the Leader of DEO, a good friend of a Supergirl who might hate her at same point.  
And suddenly Lena realizes the figure of Alex who is right now is Alex who loves Ruby so much and maybe she’s also seeing Sam as _something _and it if Alex and Sam doesn’t a thing, Lena would be really confused about someone who really care about someone else who is not her family, while her own family try million ways to kill her.  
However Alex is not obliged to be here, but Alex is here fighting together with them to save Sam, even if Supergirl off to Argo City. With all that left, she risk it all, Alex would do everything to bring Sam back, instead of kill it with Reign, sometimes it would be easier if they only have to find the way how to beat Reign instead of saving Sam.  
Putting aside the fact that Alex is a very good Goverment agent, during their time working together Lena can feel the kindness of this woman. And she feels little curious what if she was in the Sam's position, whether Alex Danvers will do the same to save her?  
"I know you look really great in this dress, but pretty sure you need this, Ms. CEO. Also the temperature in here is pretty low anyway.. you can't get sick.."  
Alex forces Lena to put on her lab coat, tighten it. And if she heard correctly, Alex complimented on how she look, _or her dress _, Lena not so sure... But it’s enough to make her blushed.  
  
That night was quite memorable for Lena. The first time she notice Alex Danvers head to toe, in details.. How Alex Danvers looks awkward and cute, at the same time. Lena welcomes the friendship that Alex offer for her in this hopeless time.  
They had a little talk that night, sharing about the discovery of Lena’s research which is very useful to save Sam. And that night Lena realized that Alex Danvers did have two opposite sides.  
  
Alex Danvers is very affectionate towards the people she love and Kara Danvers is so lucky to have her as a big sister, and Sam-Ruby is also lucky because somehow Alex added them to her list.  
  
And at dawn, around 04.00 am, Lena can't help but feel too sleepy, too tired, can’t take it any longer. Her last memory is she falls asleep on her desk, in the lab coat that Alex forced her to wear. But in the morning when she woke up, she found herself lying on the small couch in her lab, curled up, she could have been really cold if she's not worn the lab coat, and if there wasn't Alex's leather jacket cover her upper body.  
Since then Lena realized and quite remember the smell of Alex's body, it’s so soft and smell like papermint.  
  
  
_You work too hard on this, you should get rest, take care of your self  
  
ps : _i dont expect that sleeping face anyway :)  
  
-A-________

____

__  
And Lena find her self smiling on that notes.

__


	2. Somehow, everything starts falling

Supergirl : Battles Lost and Won Episode  
  
  
"You know, you're really wonderful with Ruby. You're gonna make a natural mother." said Lena.  
  
Alex should kwown that Kara must have told Lena about the reason for Alex's breaking up with Maggie. Kara must be telling her best friend about everything, except her true identity, Alex should know this, the this "mother" topic must have something to do with it.  
  
That's where Alex stands. Awkward.  
  
In front of Lena Luthor who’s not her friend but happen to be her friend lately. With Sam and Ruby lying a few feet away from them, sleeping.  
  
Lately, Lena finding her self trying to find a conversation with Alex after their night in Lena's laboratory, for no certain reason. Sometimes she feels that Alex might have become her friend, like the first time she being friend with her younger sister.  
  
"Yeah, and yet I haven't made any steps to, uh, make that a reality. It took me forever to find Maggie.."  
  
There was a pause in her voice. in the middle of it Lena could feel Alex choked, and tears trapped in her brown eyes.  
  
"So what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to hope that I fall in love again with someone who wants to have kids? Or do I try and do this on my own? And if so, _how?_ I mean, it's not like my job is conducive to being a single parent. But then again, if we don't stop Reign, I guess this all just a moot point."  
  
"Well, that's true. But you've identified what you want, and that's half the battle. People like you and me, we do what it takes to get what we want. And when we defeat Reign, I have no doubt you'll figure it out."  
  
And when she talked to Alex, she realizes that she doesn't have the same goals as Alex herself, she doesn't even have one, even though she's dating James Olsen right now, she never imagine about the future, or having family things, especially about having kids. And somehow imagining Alex might like Sam in a special way and that's why Alex stuck in this situation, makes Lena feel a little weird on her chest.. the feeling that she can’t explain and she refuse to figure it out or even think about it.  
  
"And I'm lucky to have been given the opportunity to know you more, Lena.. even in this hard situation," Alex sight. Her hand grabbed Lena's hand slowly, Alex didn't hold it tightly, her hand touched Lena's doubtfully. It was as if she were a porcelain doll that would break if Alex held her too tightly.  
  
"You are a good person. more than that.. _you're special _. No wonder why Kara likes you so much."  
Alex smiled fondly at her. Again, that face is not the face of the strongest agent in Deo.  
  
"Oh, have you had lunch? _uhm,_ i know you don't. Let's go." Alex took her hand, as if they were used to it. Alex still held Lena's hand even when they were outside the DEO lab, and several agents look at their way, the last time Alex holding a girl's hand at DEO is when she's with Maggie, and still, even when they were in the elevator, towards Deo's canteen.  
  
"Maybe this isn't a fancy place to eat. But enough to make us recharge." said Alex while pulling a chair to Lena to sit down.  
  
"I saw you rub your nose, three times today. I think you have caught flu. I will treat you after this."  
  
Alex ordered soup and juice for Lena. "We don't have kale here but i thought this is enough." Alex smiles again.  
Lena feeling a little surprised, but didn't have time to say a word.  
"The risk of being friend with Kara Danvers. She talks about everything." Alex grins.  
  
There is two things in one time that make Lena's heart skip a bit.  
1\. Alex remember that she loves Kale, whenever Kara have told her, and..  
2\. Alex Danvers noticed the few times she rubbed her nose today, _three times... _____


	3. Confession, but Not So Confession

It's cloudy afternoon, when Alex felt that her apartment was too big for herself, especially since Kara returned to Argo city, her apartment suddenly felt three times bigger than before.  
  
Maggie's scent still there sometimes, she can feel it, pinching the wound in her heart a little bit sometimes.  
  
The wound is not bleeding anymore, but it felt quite sore every time she took a breath. Suck the loneliness. Alex can't be too long in her apartment, she hates everytime Jhon ask her to take day off, working is so much better, is so much easier for her right now.  
  
Then Alex decided to take a walk outside, on her sports suit, running in the National City park might make her mind numb for a moment. She plan for at least 20 KM run. Maybe the feeling of the fatigue could kill the other pain that attacked her sometimes.  
  
And before three turns of running, she saw someone she didn't expect to meet at all, a woman who oddly enough, a little to often, came to her mind recently.  
Lena Luthor sitting at the park bench, with unnecessary dark glasses which not even match to the weather, in a tight dress that made Alex unable to deny that this girl was physically attractive, holding a seemingly untouched lunch box, staring at nowhere.  
  
"It's too late for lunch, isn't it?," Said Alex. Not a question.  
  
Alex took the place next to her. Just sitting. They only separated by the air.  
  
Alex only realized that Lena's eyes were red and wet after she opened her sunglasses and look at Alex and quite surprise to meet the DEO agent here.  
  
Lena suddenly looked more vulnerable, not much different from Ruby's face when she was sad because of her mother.  
  
Make Alex forget that she is a Luthor who can make kryptonite which can kill her beloved sister at any time, the richest genius in the National City and maybe the whole entire world.  
  
The girl who are perfectly breathtaking, even when she had been crying.  
  
"I didn't expect to see you like this? What happen, Lena?"  
  
Alex sighed, her face look so worry but she Didn’t know how to react. She doesn't have so many friends.  
She didn’t really know how to comfort people.  
Kara was the only person Alex was used to paying attention to. And then Ruby and Sam after, but they both left too.  
  
Maggie is another story, it's not easy to caught Maggie crying.  
Her father's things, then the day when Alex almost drown to death, and their broke up, that's the only moments she could saw Maggie crying.  
  
"I'm not Kara Danvers but you know you can also talk to me. I'm good at keeping a secret." Alex says softly, then her hand squeezed Lena's, cold.  
_So cold._  
Wondering how long Lena has been in outside.  
While waiting for Lena to react, Alex unwillingly grabbed her palms and rubbed them gently. An unexpected gesture from Alex Danvers.  
And Lena didn't protest. The touch is too comfortable.  
Sometimes it feels like Kara, but Alex is the mature version of Kara Danvers. Alex is like a calm wave, warm like sunset.  
And when Alex Seeing Lena's open thighs from the short dress, Alex knows that warming Lena's hands is not enough.  
  
"Oh, Come on. Come to my place. It's not far from here. We can just walk."  
  
Alex took her hand. Without asking if Lena wants it or not.  
They excatly weren't a close friend. They don't even know each other very well.  
But Lena Luthor is always there when they try to save the world.  
And there is curiosity in Alex's chest behind Lena's red eyes.  
A feeling to help Kara look after her best friend when she’s out of the thousand lights.  
Alex doesn't ask any questions when they walk.  
They just walk in silent.  
A silence that makes Lena feels comfortable and drown in the arms of Alex danvers. Make lena start to fantasize what if she has an older sister. Could it be better?  
Imagine how happy the childhood of Kara Danvers and her big sister were.  
  
Alex pulled Lena closer as the wind blew harder on their way.  
In a few minutes it must be raining outside, and Alex quickened their pace, Lena just follow..  
The gesture is very protective but not pushy. Just feels so right..  
Nothing less and nothing more. Alex's body language was like a spring breeze.  
Lena sometimes pays attention to Alex and Maggie during game nights.  
Alex's arms are always around Maggie, and before Maggie, Alex's arms are always around Kara.  
Alex Danvers is a charmer.  
  
How a person who was physically so strong, could be so gentle on the other side.  
Lena once saw Alex fight barehanded against aliens.  
Imagine how much practice Alex went through to get onto that point.  
Her trained arms were so sturdy then felt so soft when it touch Lena's skin.  
At some point Lena realized that Alex is a gay, but lena never saw her from that sexual side, Alex is Alex, not _Gay Alex_ And it hurts sometimes that Alex never seems look interested with her, even if they are in the same circle of friendship, hanging out together..  
Lena meets Alex first then Sam, but Lena notices Alex's attitude to Sam is different, sometimes Alex would come to Sam when Sam is alone, or she just follow Sam when Sam walks outside to the balcony during game nights, or just joking around with Sam, having small talk, even they become a partner at game night just at the first time Sam join them, Alex is very welcome to Sam and it makes Lena feels a little bit upset why Alex never doing the same thing to her.  
It doesn't mean that Lena is jealous. She doesn't have that kind feeling for Alex, never in a million times..  
  
But realizing that She was not at all attractive to Alex Danvers hurt her ego.. it's just that.. _really.._  
  
Lena sat on Alex's couch when Alex handed her a soft blanket. Then Alex came back with a glass of hot chocolate which is home made. Alex watch Lena drink it and smiled. Warm..  
_So Warm.... _  
When Alex look at her in the eyes.. That’s Not a curious look.  
Lena can see the difference of the way she glance, compare to another.  
During the time when she was in college, the gazes of several friends who pretended to be her friends, but turned out only want to know the secret of a Luthor's daugther.  
They never really want to be her friends, they always want something from her.  
  
Alex Danvers's eyes doesn't look like that.  
  
If Kara Danvers's eyes on her is like sunshine, Alex Danvers's is more like the faint of moon light.  
This is the first time Lena notices Alex has a beautiful eyes, which match perfectly with her pale lips, some scars on her forehead don't diminish her pretty face.  
Lena wonder why Alex has not been dating again after Maggie. And Lena was sure Sam wouldn't left National City if Alex asked her too, but Alex never making a move to Sam.  
  
"I'm wondering why you let Sam left.” Lena's first words that day.  
  
"Really? I thought I'm the one who should asking why are you crying."  
Alex shifted a little. Her face was only inches from Lena.  
The faded gray t-shirt matched her pale skin perfectly.  
She’s so gorgeous even in a faded t-shirt.  
  
From the small distance, Lena could see some more scars on her neck and near her nose. And somehow Lena feels the urge to touch it.  
  
"Okay. You wanna play exchange secret? I get it." Alex grins.  
After taking a deep breath Alex slammed her back to the couch. Her eyes stared at the ceiling when at the same time Lena staring at her face from the other side.  
_PERFECT.. _  
Lena see something she like..  
  
"Yeah, you are right, at some point, I thought I fell in love with Sam. I can't wait to defeat Reign and bring Sam back then ask her on a date. Then i imagine being happy with Sam and Ruby. And maybe retiring from Deo. That feeling cross my mind but--." Alex stops. She look at Lena who look like really serious right now, listening to her story.  
  
"But when everything ends, it seems like that i just love Ruby. I want to have a child like Ruby someday. And then i realized that have a grown feelings for another woman who is not Ruby's mother." Alex took a breath then start talking again.  
  
"And the woman I start to have feeling is doesn't look like she want to have what I've always wanted, it's complicated, right? So i can move nowhere. And i'm not ready yet for another Maggie.. then i choose to ignore my feelings. I didn't kill it anyway, _Not yet.. _But also didn't let the feeling grow any further. I don’t want another broken heart."__  
  
"But...” Alex smiles like a child. Like she really enjoying doing this. “You know I'm taking care of her from far distance. I cheat on DEO things just to check on her sometimes. _It’s a secret.._ And i feel happy when i know she's just fine, and happy with her life, with someone she loves. And i'll always ready to catch her when she falls. I thought that's a better way for loving someone. It's easier than push a person into relationship."  
  
Lena was so sure she saw tears on Alex's eyes even if she’s smiling. And Alex struggled to endure it for not to fall.  
Hiding it with a smile.  
  
"You know i swear to my life if anybody is dare enough to hurt her, I can make up any way possible to hurt that people back."  
  
Without realizing it, Lena's hand was already in Alex's. Alex plays it with her fingers. Rub it gently. Kara never been like that. Neither James.  
  
"Now let me know why baddas CEO Lena Luthor is crying today?" Alex ask Lena softly, so softly before she kneeled down in front of Lena, carefully placing her hand on the other woman‘s knee.  
  
For a moment Lena just forgot how James's words hurt her so much deep today.  
  
She feel really hurt when James told her to stop taking part of his every problems. And when Lena told her that she love him so much and she would across any boundaries just to make sure James is safe, then James told her that he doesn’t want that kind of love, not even interest on it.  
  
_It hurts like hell.._  
  
But now having Alex Danvers so close to her, telling her that kind of feeling she felt, that so unselfish love story that Lena can even believe it's exist.  
She drown to Alex's story which is very beautiful. And what a lucky woman Alex has told her..____


	4. What You have done to me?

4  
  
Quite a busy day in DEO. Alex gets used to working harder when Supergirl isn't around.  
Wound by wound. Fight after fight.  
Visit one world to another.  
Meet various aliens from different planets.  
But can't stop her mind to thinking about Lena Luthor. A woman she never imagined would haunt her mind accros the time.  
She knows she can't keep doing this..  
Lena is the one of her bestfriend's girlfriend and in the other page Lena is her sister's best friend and Kara is really protective with Lena.  
Yeah sometimes James is a jerk if it comes to relationship, Kara cried a few times because of him. But besides that all, Alex knows that James is a good man, Lena can get any worse man than him. And the most important thing is Lena loves James.  
Lena cried so many times because of him, a powerful Lena Luthor, and it must be because of love.  
  
And Alex knows it's only a matter of time, at least she's going to think it that way. Lena Luthor is amazingly beautiful, and this attraction may only be limited to physical attraction.  
  
And it’s normal, _it’s normaly happen to everyone.._   
After seeing Lena Luthor fight for Sam, for Kara, for Supergirl, even when she could kill her easily, maybe that's when she start thinking of the woman.  
  
And now Lena Luthor feels like the first snowflakes of winter.  
Cold, yet beautiful, can't be grasped, but the cold can stay on the skin any longer, sometimes going straight into her soul. And she's just hoping that Lena Luthor will be like that winter, which has a time limit.  
And will disappear when spring comes. And that's the right time they can start over again, she can be a good friends to her, take Lena with open arms like a friend, bestfriend maybe..  
  
Oh, maybe later when Kara comes back they three can have lunch together, even becoming a partner in game night, staring at her face without feeling choked.  
  
And that's when Alex never expected to receive an instant message from Lena, in broad daylight.  
At leisure time, when the National City doesn't need DEO, when everything is finish, After Alex writing report after report about what happened in the last few days in National City.  
  
_Lena Luthor : James came, apologized. I forgive him. But i told him that need space.  
  
_ The hole in Alex's heart is open.  
Pulse from the inside.  
She convinced herself that this wasn't a pain.  
_We can't lose what we never have.._  
  
_Lena Luthor : i dont even know why i texted you. just ignore it  
  
Lena Luthor : Bye, Director Danvers..  
  
Alex Danvers : I always know that he will make it up to you..  
  
Alex Danvers : But next time make sure you wear a coat when you decide to sit on a park bench in the winter. I don't want to put a needle on your skin. Last time i'm doing it with Sam, i lost my last stock of lolipop. _  
  
Alex smiles. A sad smile anyway.. Maybe after this she can go to the bar. Drink a few glasses of good scotch, find someone who can warm her body tonight.  
She's not a one-night stand lover, but she clearly needs it now.  
  
  
_Lena Luthor : Are you busy? What are you doing?  
  
Alex Danvers : Just comeback from Earth-1. Craving for coffee.  
  
Lena Luthor : Noonan's? My treat?  
  
And Alex didn't realize how quickly she answered yes. She showered longer than usual in the DEO shower.  
Her tactical gear is already too dirty by alien liquids. Even she refused when Sara Lance wanted to hug her before going home.  
Even though the hug was just a sympathy because Sara knew about the Supergirl's departure.  
  
*******  
  
  
This is Lena's first time going out with Alex, not for business. Lena's starting to think that they're friends now. Alex was sitting at a table on the edge of the room when Lena first arrived, with newspapers in both hands. Wearing a leather jacket that always become her trademark..  
Fresh, charming, and it fells so very warm when Alex raised her head and smiled when she saw Lena coming.  
  
Lena didn't expect Alex to stand up and pull the bench for her, because it’s sounds like a date, but she knew it wasn't..  
  
But there is one unfamiliar need in her chest to be close to this woman, maintain this relationships well, without crossing boundaries, Alex Danvers is out of the wall.  
  
They never really had a good start. Their first meeting when she was almost killed, Alex was also almost killed too.  
Then Alex never really became her friend after that. Kara Danvers stands in the middle of them. And now when Kara is not around, Lena is very careful not to cross the wall.  
  
___

___When the sprinkle green eyes meet hers as they sit down, Alex is trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. Her years of training at the DEO would have been able to hide what she fells right now. She once pretended to like Maxwell Lord for a mission. Now she should can definitely ignore that feeling in her chest. Burry it in the deepest hole inside her heart.  
  
Or at least she can take it out tonight, with some pale girl who looks like Lena but not her Lena. She doesn't even have the right to call it _her Lena _. And for God's sake Alex Danvers begged to her logic not to falling deeper to this woman.  
  
Because It will going to get worse instead of getting better.   
  
Lena Luthor is more complicated than Maggie Sawyer. This can't be happening..  
  
"You look good for someone who just arrived from another world." Lena says.  
  
"I took shower. simple as that." Alex chuckle.  
"I'm so glad to see you happy like this, i know Kara will, she wants me to look after you,"  
Alex don't get the point why she's saying this, yes Kara ask her to look after Lena, but don't know why she needs to tell Lena that is Kara who care for her.  
  
"i miss Kara,"  
  
"Me too,"  
  
"And i'm glad having you here right now. Thank you for being so kind to me even if Kara isn't here."  
  
"My pleasure.." Alex smiles at her, the sweetest smile she ever gave to Lena Luthor.  
  
Then they ordered pasta. Talk about some research. Alex is very interested to hear Lena talk about science. About some of Lena's research that maybe can fix the world oneday.  
Alex became a very good listener, also a really good place to exchange ideas.  
  
Alex is a genius, a new thing Lena has just find out today. Add a list of amazing things about Alex Danvers.  
  
Lena doesn't really want to end this day. She's aware that she's drowning right now.  
To Alex Danvers..  
  
But the meeting must come to an end. Alex helped her put on her coat as they stood up from the seat. Alex touches shoulder her as they walk towards the door, opening and holding the cafe door for her. Get her in front of the car. And Lena couldn't resist not hugging Alex before she got into the car.  
"Kara and i hug each other. i hope you don't mind." said Lena, when she realized Alex didn't returning her hugs.  
Then Alex hugged her back. Awkward at first, but very close in the end. Alex is afraid her feelings will spill over into this one hug. Alex trying so sooo hard to make it still in the friend zone, try not to immerse her head in the curves of Lena's neck, breathing on her scent. Alex let her go before she lost control.  
  
Alex waved her hand at Lena who was still opening the window before her car moved away.  
  
Her phone beeps just seconds after Lena's car disappeared from her sight. Just before she turned on her Ducati.  
  
  
_Lena Luthor : Are we friend right now?  
  
Alex Danvers : Of course :) ___  
  
  
And Lena needs to get back to reality. To keep sane.  
  
After a few glasses of wine in her penthouse, Lena called James, ask him to come, just right now.  
Wearing her best lingerie, begging James to fuck her hard tonight, and remind her self who is she and where she belongs.  
Eventhough she doesn't need to beg...___ _ _


	5. Flirting

5  
  
Lena was a little shocked when she saw peoples in uniform enter her office, Eve had a very hard time to prevent it, but it didn't work at all. If the government military wants to enter, no one can hold them back.  
  
Just a few days after Lena and Alex spent time together at Noonan's. Lena still remembers she had to make love several times that night with James, in order to get Alex out of her mind.  
  
Alex sent her several instant messages after that day, none of them were important. Only talks about some science things, but Lena ignored it all, before she could define the strange feeling that invading her brain brutally, she decided to keep away things from Alex as much as possible.  
  
Colonel Lauren Haley strutted right into Lena's office, Alex Danvers is right behind her, not in her tactical gear, or the jeans and leather jackets she often wears. But in an official government suit.  
A formal tight suit that flaunted her seductive curves. Lena was fascinated by the sight. She has never seen Alex in a formal suit, not once in her life.  
And she hated the burning feeling in her stomach.  
She bites her lips when Alex looked at her, Lena could read Alex's apologetic eyes, as if she didn't want this to happen.  
  
"I'm sorry," said Alex, without a voice. Lena nodded at her, with a flat face, and mixed feelings.  
"I'm Colonel Haley, I am here on the name of the Government of United States. We discovered the fact that you are under research to make humans became superhuman. And we are here to make sure that every result of your research, would be report to us, because you are a good citizen of United States," Colonel Haley says, sarcastic.  
Lena can see the changes in Alex's face, she looked guilty, so contrast to her powerful suit, and Lena finds it really cute.  
"I think you got the wrong information. Yes you are right, i have that idea, i am a scientist anyway. But I haven't done anything about it. I'm still busy returning my investment in Catco." Lena replied, cold, her expression didn't change a bit. There was no trace of fear on her face, just a cold smile that Alex found it so sexy.  
  
Alex heard Colonel Haley sigh, even though she should have known before stepping on here. Lena Luthor is not someone easy. Lena Luthor is one of the wonders of the world.  
  
At the age of 24 years, this woman could tremble an army, including Alex's heart, her heart beat pressed against her sternum.  
The sexy tight dress she worn today, perfectly matched with her fairy skin. Lena doesn't expect a visit from anyone today, especially the Government military, and she always likes Friday, so she wears a sexy dress that shows her cleavage clearly.  
Alex tried so sooo hard to avoid her eyes staring at there.  
First, she's at work, she's the Director of DEO. And second, Lena is her sister's best friend, who is now became her secret crush.  
  
Alex is dating a little bit more lately. She even called Maggie, just to have a little talk. She didn't dare to confirm what she felt for Lena Luthor.  
  
But one thing for sure is that she didn't feel sick anymore when she heard Maggie's voice, they even talked about her new date.  
  
So for God's sake, Alex took it as a good sign. it's so easy to having crush to a girl who doesn't have any connection with her.  
And sexual attraction is a natural thing for Alex, she's human anyway.  
  
"Director Alex Danvers will talk about it with you, several agents will be here to record your conversation. Just in case you will be more open with people you call a friend,” said Colonel Haley as she folded her arms over her chest, while glancing at Alex. Alex Danvers raised an eyebrow and coded okay to her colleague.  
  
A few moments after Colonel Haley left the room, Alex took a seat in front of Lena, and asking her agents to leave the room.  
"I can handle it," she said, so formal. It didn't take long for the agents to follow the Director's orders.  
"I will give a sanction Agent Henry for not being able to take his eyes off your body today. His actions embarrassed the DEO."  
Lena chuckled, not a words she expected out of Alex's mouth.  
"So maybe you should also sanction yourself, Alex," Lena smiled seductively.  
"I? what? No.. i'm not--"  
Lena laughed. Her heart feels so warm because of Alex's blushing face. Alex looks awkward, very awkward, because she knows Lena has caught her.  
"Easy, I'm just kidding," Lena grabs Alex's hand, not her wants, not her heart ask her to do, it just happened. And Alex froze at the touch.  
Somehow everything feels so intimate with Lena Luthor.  
But somehow Alex put her hand over Lena's, grasped it gently. Staring softly at Lena's eyes, so softly that always makes Lena's knees feel so weak, and Alex said "And about our purpose here, I just want you to know that I came as your friend, not as a Government Agent. And whatever you are doing right now on your research, you are doing it for the good of humanity, I believe in you and I will do everything in my power to protect you."  
The words are actually cliches. Words that are often heard by Lena in some romantic films. But when Alex Danvers said this to her, in front of her face, with a voice and gaze that was so soft, combined with her appearance that was so strong, it was enough to make Lena's soul struggle.  
Then Alex stood up and prepared to leave the room before Lena stood up and grabbed her hand twice on that day.  
  
"What makes you really believe in me, Director Danvers?"  
  
No more seductive looks from Lena Luthor who secretly wants Alex Danvers pushes her body onto the coach, tearing every clothes that only will distance their skin. Only the gaze of the a little puppies that looked sad, and lonely.  
  
"Because my feelings are never wrong." Alex replied, smiling sweetly. The warmest smile that Lena has ever seen in her entire life, and will always remain in her memory.  
  
"By the way, that dress looks so fucking good in you," is the last thing Lena hears before the door to her office is closing. Leaving Lena soaked and wound up tight, she knows she's not going to be able to focus for the rest of the day.  
So instead of continue working, she took the a bottle of scotch from her rack, poured her a glass after glass, to warm her body. She hated how Alex Danvers could play with her mind like this.


	6. Happy Valentine, Love..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Few more chapter before Supergirl returns to earth...  
> so we can have Kara Danvers on the picture  
> buy the way It's Valentine Day..  
> when two lovebirds finally find each other..

Alex pacing back and forth, in the lobby of _The Baldwin_..  
  


It's valentine's day, she knows this is stupid. Lena must be dating James or something.  
  


They are in love. Even Eve told Alex that Lena left the office earlier that day, but Alex already having white chocolate and a white rose in her hand, Lena's favorite flower she knows from Kara.  
  


Alex considered it several times before buying this thing.  
  


Could a friend give something to a friend on Valentine's Day?  
  


Her little heart said yes, _maybe.._  
  


Leaving it in the lobby to receptionist will be more intimate and will confuse Lena, but if today Lena comes back here with James, Alex is ready to throw it in the trash.  
  


And if she finds them both here, she's ready to pretend she's waiting for her date, she's is good actress after all.. and it's Valentine, and it's the Baldwin, a sweet place to making love tonight.  
  


Her little heart hopes that Lena Luthor doesn't celebrate Valentine, just like Maggie, because Lena Luthor is not the type of woman in general, just like Maggie, _why doesn't she just _fall in love_ with an ordinary woman_, she muttered to herself.  
  


The result of the gambling went well when she saw the figure she admired so much walking towards the private elevator that would take her directly to her penthouse, _alone_  
  


From the distance her face looked so cold, stiff, frozen, and when Alex approached to her, she could see that flustered eyes, staring nowhere, red, wet, _again.._ and Alex really hated to see it.  
  


Lena didn't even notice when Alex was approaching her. Alex hide her chocolate behind her coat, and threw away the rose in the nearest trash, before she come to Lena.  
  


For a moment she realized it was not the right time to give her the white rose..

Lena was like a fainted person walking, as if she wasn't fully conscious when she was about to touch an elevator button.  
  


Alex had to touch her hand to make her realize that Alex was in front of her right now, the face she had been missing for days, even weeks.  
  


The only face she imagined when she asked James off to Paris today for Valentine's weekend before they ruined it.  
  


Valentine is a silly thing for Lena, but from what she heard from Kara, Alex loves it, and Maggie made Alex very sad the previous Valentine.  
  


And Lena feels she has to drag herself away from the National City so that her body doesn't betray herself to find Alex this day and confront Alex with whatever she feels for her right now.  
  


The desire to meet Alex is getting bigger and bigger day by day and sometimes she can't handle it anymore other than with a few glasses of scotch and meaningless sex with James to distract her from her crazy feelings.  
  


She doesn't call it Love, it's more complicated.  
  


if it is love, it means that now she's falling out love because there's no way in this world a Luthor could be with a Danvers.  
  


But the feeling is worse than a heartbreak, because it feels like there was a shard of glass piercing right to her chest every time she took a breath.

"Alex, what are you doing here?" Lena surprised. Seeing Alex Danvers tonight is her wildest dream.

"I'm.. having dinner with a friend," Alex stuttered, her mind began to analyze what stupid things James had done, or Lex, or Lilian.

It's terrible to think how many people could hurt this woman.

"oh, you're on a date, okay, i will not distract you here, i'll just--"

"No.. Lena. stops"

The way Alex held her hand before hitting the elevator button was intimate, very protective, and _it hurts_.

  
Imagining Alex going on a date with someone this valentine's day is enough to make her heart bleed, and tonight she realizes that she is falling too deeper with this woman.

  
More than she can imagined, more than she realized, more than she was willing to admit it.  
  
Tears fell down her cheeks as Alex pressed the elevator button, and pulled her in.

  
Alex led her to press a passcode which would take them up to her penthouse.

She is half conscious when she felt Alex still holding her hand inside the elevator, not wanting to let go.

Alex just took it off when Lena finished pressing the passcode again, to open the penthouse door.

Lena just stared at her silently when Alex opened her jacket and hung it on the coat rack next to Lena's elevator door.

And get closer to Lena, helping her take off her own coat, and her eyes were wet with tears when Alex leads her inside, sitting on the sofa in her living room.

Alex said nothing, just pulling Lena's head and carefully put it on her chest and burying it there.

Her right arm was just above Lena's head, rubbing her hair gently.

And suddenly Lena looked over Alex and watched as Alex pulled her hand back quickly and blushed, she needed to convince herself that she wasn't dreaming.

That this is really Alex. The woman she really want to claim to be hers.

Lena gave in to the pull because how could she not?

She ignored the fluttering feeling in her stomach as she rested her head at Alex's chest, breathing on Alex's scent, and Alex have to admit how good Lena smelled.

"I thought you had a date," Lena hissed. Trying to remind Alex of why she was at this hotel tonight.

But her little broken heart begged Alex not left with whoever that lucky woman.

"it can wait," Alex replied. Her hand still rubbing Lena's head, pulled the woman closer.

Lena could feel Alex's heart pounding sooo hard on her chest, and Lena wondered if it’s because of her.

"I thought I couldn't let you go anywhere tonight," Lena risked it all when she saying that. And Alex's self-defense collapsed for a moment.
    
    
      
    
      
    
    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that i have to pause before i continue because i kind of confuse if it's the right time for them of of this too fast..  
> please let me know how do you feel about it :)


	7. I just wanna make you feel good, didn’t i?

"Lena.." Alex starts, and she moves her head to meet Lena's eyes, that perfect emerald eyes, they are green, blue, and gray at the same place, but mostly it’s green.. Alex had to refrain her self from drowning in it.  
  
She hold her gaze until she sigh. "I know it's James, am i right?"  
Lena didn't answer, she couldn't answer, in fact she didn't have any answer about the reason why her tears drop.  
  
Maybe first, it was because of James's words, and due to the fact that her relationship with James is not like she expected it before.  
  
Lena wants a place for her to come home, and James can never be her home.  
  
Even now she wasn't really sure they ever loved each other.  
  
And there is Alex Danvers, the woman who made her logic totaly lost.  
  
Lena always considers everything. Including her relationship with James, she expect something good but she prepared for the worst.  
  
She is ready to accept that a Luthor would never have a happy ending.  
  
But with Alex Danvers, however she realizes that Alex would never be her forever. But her selfishness wanted to try, she wasn't afraid of hurting herself, what always stop her from reaching Alex was she afraid of hurting Alex, or Lex, or Lilian, or whoever and whatever who wanted to hurt Lena, could hurt Alex too in the process.  
  
At the dim light of her living room, she shaw Alex smiles at her fondly, "Okay you don't have to tell me. But just so you know, you only have two choices." Alex says, as she resting her chin on top of Lena's head.  
  
“You can broke up with him right now or i’ll beat him up. I don’t care about that Guardian things,” Alex says firmly.  
Lena could feel Alex hold her tighter and Lena swore to God that it was the warmest hug she's ever had, almost as comfortable as her mother's.  
She's known Alex for two years, meeting her in dozens of gamenights, dinner, and parties. But not once did she could imagine it would be this comfortable being in her arms.  
  
Alex stood up to get a tissue box for her, but Alex didn't have time to move, Lena using the rest of her energy to pull Alex back, pushing her back onto the couch, moving her lips into Alex’s. If in this world, she's not allowed to love Alex Danvers, then she should be allowed to have one kiss, on Valentine day, the day of love..  
  
Even if it's just one time..  
  
Lena's lips press Alex's. Her arms were wrapped around Alex's hips, holding her there to stay.  
  
She drawing it into a slow kiss, a deliberate kiss, she doesn't want to scare Alex, and Alex knows she's being distracted.  
  
She's been wanting to kiss this woman for so long, the nights they worked together in the lab to save Sam.  
  
But she never did, she never cross the line, she'd already had a one-night stand with one of Kara's best friends, and she didn't want to repeat it again even if it's just one kiss, let alone that Lena was in a relationship with James.  
  
Alex pushes Lena, gently, but still keeps Lena's face close to her. "Lena, what this is about? i'm not doing it to you, and you just.."  
  
"I broke up with James," Lena's hisses, her eyes were wet again because of tears, and perhaps also because of the fear of rejection. She's so tired of rejection, so tired, that she doesn't want to care anymore.  
  
"Lena, you know i want it too, i want you, but-- Oh fuck,"  
  
Lena moves back to kiss her, just as Alex pushes at Lena's chest to flip them.  
  
Alex caress her face with both of hands now, she first kisses her chin, gently, put her hands around her neck. Then she kisses the left cheek and then the right.  
  
It's so soft and make Lena sigh, holding her breath, Alex kisses her forehead repeatedly before move to the tip of her nose, and finally press her lips to Lena's.  
  
Alex wouldn't be rushed, she'd done that already with her lone one night stand and want to really give in in whatever this would become with Lena Luthor.  
And Lena get the sign, picked on it, slowed, totally giving in to this hot Government agent.  
  
The kissed were softness and curiosity, full of lust and heat, but slow until it become not so slow anymore.  
  
Lena wouldn't be ashamed that she was the first one to moan softly, the heat in her blood making her feel high.  
  
Lena turned so that her back was facing Alex's face and pulled her hair to the front of her body, expose her back, the top of her zipper.  
  
Alex look hesitant, but finally she rushed forward as her hand began to fumble the zipper, a little shaking, she had to take a breath to steady them, before she begin to slide the zipper down Lena's back.  
  
She place a soft kiss on this woman's shoulder as the zipper came unzipped, and stop it just right above Lena's black lace panties.  
  
Her sturdy fingertip rubbed Lena's back gently, caressing her with affection, as if Lena were the most vulnerable thing in the world, Alex sticking her nose on the back of Lena's neck, rubbing her lips gently there, up and down.  
  
Alex continued to squeeze each hand over Lena's shoulder, and down her arms as she pulled the dress down and when it free, Alex's hand move to Lena's hips to push the dress over Lena's ass.  
  
Alex let her hands run over that black laces and play on Lena’s perfect ass as the dress pooled to the floor.  
  
Let herself admire that perfect back for a moment, or she just need more time before she have to staring at Lena in the eyes.  
Alex confesses to herself, that Lena is not the type of person she dares to fuck with, or making love with, Lena is probably one of the most influential women in the world, Lena Luthor is totally out of her league.  
  
When the first time she realized she have a crush on Lena. Alex plans to keep that inside, only for herself. Make it her own secret. She didn't even tell Kara.  
  
Lena turned to face Alex, and Alex inevitably had to look her Face.  
  
Alex's face blushes, like a teenager who just doing it for the first time, and it makes Lena's heart pounding so hard.  
  
Alex enjoys her self staring at the front of Lena's body. That beautiful and perfect chest, that soft stomach, Alex wants to immerse her face right there but she's quite behave right now.  
  
She took a moment to look in the green eyes once again, make sure that Lena didn’t change her mind.  
  
When she didn't see the slightest doubt in Lena's eyes, she put a light kiss on Lena's forehead before her lips working on Lena mouth, Pressing Lena's both lips to open and slid her tongue into Lena's mouth.  
  
Alex tangled her hand in Lena's hair and lowered her hands down to Lena's cheek, holding her face as their lips overlapped one another, enjoy each other lips, freeing the desires that swell in their chests all this while.  
  
Lena whines a little as Alex bites her lower lip, which spurred Alex on.  
  
Their hands started groping each other's bodies, moving right here and right there.  
  
Alex kissed her way down to Lena's chest, working on Lena's bra.  
  
It only took one second to remove Lena's bra, and she was amazed by the work of the agent's hand.  
Alex moans before touching Lena nipples with her lips. Kiss it very gently before licking it with repetitive movements.  
  
Lena loved how Alex arched into every touch with a barely contained moan.  
  
"Alex.." Lena breathed out, gasping as Alex slid a knee between her tight.  
  
And Alex is very happy with the way Lena calls her name, very intimate, so sexy, so familiar, as if they've done it over and over again.  
  
The skin to skin contact and the noises that coming from both of them made Lena uncomfortably wet, and from the way Alex moves uncontrollably, she knows she wasn't the one who starting to drip.  
  
It was so intense how much Alex place a kisses to kisses on her and made Lena crave for Alex to enter deep inside her body, and that agent read Lena so well, she knows what Lena needed the most, right there and right now.  
  
Lena gives it all when Alex gets rid of her panties, tucks her finger in there, and circling her clit before put a digit inside of her very wet entrance.  
  
"Damn. Lena..," Alex moaned, "You're so wet." Alex says before she’s working on it, in and out, while her thumb working on Lena’s clit, and her mouth on Lena’s cheest, sucking the erect nipples.  
  
Lena rode out her first orgasm on Alex's fingers, rocking her hips into Alex until she came with a gasp and moaning Alex 's name all over again on her lips.  
  
Alex smiled and placed sloppy kissed all up Lena's chest before she reached Lena's lips and kiss it softly.  
  
"Thank you," Lena Whispered, her voice sultry , and deep.  
  
Alex settle next to Lena, pulled Lena closer carefully, and placed Lena's head over her chest, keep it there before she kiss the top of Lena’s head.  
Moments later when Lena realize she almost fell asleep while Alex move herself slowly and went to the bathroom less than five minutes and come back with two warm towel and make up remover, first she clean up every make up on Lena’s face, wiping up that eyeliner marks that have been damaged by the tears, and then she wipes Lena's skin between her legs. It feels so warm till Lena feels like crying on her half sleep.  
  
And Alex carry her bridal style, naked, to the only master bedroom on the penthouse, put her gently to the bed and cover her with the warm white blanket before she crawling her self in it. Just like Lena said before that she doesn’t want Alex to leave tonight.  
Lena really cherish the moment.  
And Lena Luthor swear that she never felt so loved before...


	8. When i see the sun start shining, i see you..

Come the morning, Lena opened her eyes slowly, amazed by her first sight at the day, a warm shadow that usually only comes in her sweetest dreams.  
  
She saw Alex Danvers next to her, lying beside her, facing her face, their eyes connected. Wondering how long Alex has looking at her.  
  
That dreamy look, with the sun shining from behind her, the gleam of pure happiness in those soft brown eyes, she know she'd fallen for Alex, not sure if Alex feels the same way.  
  
Her heart told her that so, and her mind went to panic, _a lot.. _  
Her mind told her not to, don't ever let it happen, and a Luthor usually has to put the brain over the heart.  
  
Her mind told her that she didn't deserve love, especially Alex's.  
  
"Hey," Alex breathes, forward a little to brushed a lazy kiss on her cheek, it feels different in the morning, something about the sunlight has made the gesture more real.  
And again, her heart betrayed her mind, and her body too..  
  
Her knees feels wo weak as Alex looked into her eyes, deeply.__

Lena pulled the blanket higher, to cover her open breast, which is useless, Alex have saw it all. Aware that she was completely naked, with Alex Danvers still wearing the clothes from the previous night, with several buttons hanging open, messy hair, bruised lips, _Oh..._   
  
  
"I hope you won't lose your date, by being here all night," Lena smiles, But Alex so sure she caught the sadness in her smile.  
  
Alex just remembered her lies from last night, consider whether she should be honest with Lena, but Alex realized that she couldn't. Last night's making love doesn't necessarily mean anything to Lena.  
  
Alex believes Lena has been through one night stand before, and somehow her heart hurts imagining it.  
  
"I won't.. it's just a friend, _a colleague.. _," said Alex as she got up a little, staring at Lena who smiled at her sheepishly.  
  
"But i would lost my Job if I don't wake up right now," Alex hisses, stalking towards Lena. "And I can't possibly leave you while you're still sleeping," Alex added, smiled faintly.  
  
Her eyes sparkled staring at Lena, as if those eyes were smiling too.  
  
"But from what I heard from Kara, you left her friend hanging on her sleep, hungover, and slipped out of the room," Lena chuckled, making Alex's face went red.  
  
"I guess I should talk to Kara about my privacy when she comes back," Alex replied, make Lena laughed at her. At this time Lena realized her defenses had collapsed due to the warmth feeling towards her heart.  
  
"But Lena.." Alex's expression turned serious, she took Lena's hand into hers, grasping it a little.  
  
"Don't mean to get personal, but you can't stay with James any longer, you can’t force it." she sighed, with a hopeful tone.  
  
"I know, Luthor don't deserve love," Lena smiles, wet and mirthless.  
  
"You deserve better, you deserve---" Alex wanted to say _you deserved me _, before she realized that she wasn't.____

  
  
"Just call me when you need distraction."  
  
"Distraction?," Lena asks. _hurts.._  
  
Alex nodded. "You being quite distracted last night, means that i'm doing a good job."  
  
"And since now on, i'll always be there for you." Alex added, her voice unreadable.  
  
Then Lena saw Alex getting out of bed, kissing Lena on the cheek one more time. Lena can see Alex's messy clothes, the rest of last night's romance.  
  
But Alex suddenly turn around, catching the eye of Lena who was staring at her back. "Lena, i hope you don't mind, i’m stealing a kiss on your lips twice, while you sleep."  
  
That was Alex's last words that morning, and then she left. Leaving Lena in an extraordinary dilemma. Making love to James never felt like this, neither did Jack, or whoever ever enter her life, or her bed.  
  
Alex is very simple but very sweet. Very strong, yet very soft. Alex Danvers screwed things up. The wall of the Luthor she's built from a long time ago is going to be destroyed.  
  
She should be in Paris right now, holding James's hand while walking to her favorite restaurant, drinking her favorite coffee, and soaking in hot water in her suite room.  
  
But now she's making her own coffee, in her own penthouse, while touching the glass on her kitchen counter, _its Alex's _.  
  
Lena touches the glass once more and a familiar sense of warmth strikes her right in the middle of her chest, until her eyes catch something on the floor, near her the usual place where she usually hung up her coat, her favorite chocolate "Perugina" on the floor, her favorite flavor, but not hers, it means it's Alex's, and when she lifted that thing up from the floor, her fingers shaking, read the hand writing that sticks beautifully on that chocolate box, in a small white-pink heart-shaped Valentine card.  
  
  
__ _Dear Lena Luthor, Hope it spoils you. You deserve it.. :)_

  
  
**********************************  
  
It didn't take any longer for her to risk her luck that day.  
  
Knowing Alex Danvers was standing in The Baldwin's lobby last night for how long, wearing a suit that perfectly matched her posture. Carrying chocolates in her hands, and flowers, catching by the lobby’s CCTV Lena just asked from the receptionist, enough to make Lena rush to Alex's familiar apartment, where they have met awkwardly but warmly, during game nights, moments since they were still like strangers, until they were good enough to call each other friends.  
  
Alex Danvers opens the door, _who else?_   
Wet hairs that has not been combed, body smells of soap and fresh shampo, Alex must have just finished shower.  
  
So surprised by Lena's uninvited arrival, but still trying to calm down her self, using her training skills in DEO for so many years.  
  
"What? Miss me already?," Lena can't stand the grin on Alex's face. Lena doesn't know why her eyes are watering when she saw Alex right now.  
  
"I just found out that a Director of the DEO who fight againts aliens almost everyday doesn't dare enough to give chocolate to a woman and end up making up a lie." Lena stares sharply at her, the tears start falling in her cheek, then she’s in Alex’s space, breathing Alex’s air and her teeth bite Alex's lips, and Alex has to be absent from work today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When i’m done writing chapter 8, i just wondering if it’s the right time for Lena and Alex to start dating or just let them both hanging in confuse a little longer to make a perfect ending.
> 
> Let me know what you think ;)


	9. If you just let me..

9  
  
For anyone who think that Alex and Lena are making love today, the day after Valentine, you guys are wrong. They don't.  
Hug, yes. Kissing, yeah.. Alex is very restrained, and Lena wants to keep her dignity. She had given herself up the night before, "give in". or rather, "asking". And today they don't get drunk, and come back again it's the matter of time, it's about _timing_ , it's day time, like i said, sunrise make it even real. And they can't blame the alcohol after all.  
Yes, they were gasping, on Alex's couch, Lena had to lose a few buttons of her blouse, Alex had some hickey marks on her neck and near her ears, hoping her agent at DEO would think all of them were marks of a fight with aliens, _or not.._  
Neither of them dared to step into Alex's bedroom.  
Alex move carefully, she know she can't step back, once she pass the line there is no turnback way. And Lena just got out of a relationship.  
And the pain of losing Maggie sometimes is still there. The scars haven't disappeared. The sense of trauma is still there too, and Kara isn't here right now, after all Lena is Kara's closest friend.  
In keeping her dignity, Lena knows she can't spend the night here, no matter how much she wants it. Lena arrived here at 9 o'clock in the morning. Making out till both stomachs screaming and Alex laughing in her kiss.  
Alex cooked her lunch without setting anything on fire, Lena loves the food, simple, warm, and precious, nobody cooks for her, other than her personal chef, yes her real mother did, but it's a long time ago.  
It's a simple pasta, which anyone can make. But when she saw Alex making it for her, in hurry, when she found out that Lena's stomach was screaming, the gesture was very sweet for Lena. The strongest agent in United States, and perhaps the smartest, taking care of a Luthor, a family who is the biggest enemy of the organization she leads. Alex's enthusiastic smirk as she finishes her cooking, and how Alex cleans the sauce that stains her face, then licks her own fingers, make Lena's heart mealt.  
  
She felt a little too late to have this kind of feeling, she’s 24 and the feeling was new, _genuine.. _  
There was a point in her life when she realized this feeling would never happen to her. But Alex Danvers proved her wrong, then there was a speck of hope in her heart whether this will start well, and end well, can it? may she hope? and for Alex, when she takes Lena downstairs, after having dinner together, take in this time, her favorite Thai restaurant which also happens to be Lena's favorite. Alex escorted Lena to where the driver was waiting in her limousine, her hand gripping Lena's hand from the first time they left the room, in the elevator, to the front of Lena's car. She stared at her face once again, being quite for a while, Lena also looked at her, both of them were silent, so silent, Alex was really nervous and Lena can see it clearly, Alex hopes this is not the last time they would going through this, and this is when Alex starts to consider, can it happen? between her and Lena?  
Alex wanted to shake her head, hard, to stop her from imagining it. Before Lena break the silence, while staring so deep into Alex's eyes  
  
"You love Thai's food, either i am."  
  
"Yes.."  
  
"You like horror movies, i like it too."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You didn't get boring when i'm talking science."  
  
"We _don't_ talking too much today.." Alex grins.  
  
"But Lena, i want to learn more about you, if you let me." said Alex, softly, and Alex's expression changed as she said it.  
  
The grin on her face disappeared, replaced by a soft, loving face.. Lena feels safe with Alex. This strong woman is most afraid of being hurt, but somehow she knows Alex  
Danvers would never hurt her, Alex Danvers can't hurt anyone, anything.  
  
Lena just nodded before Alex opened the door for her, tidying the front of her coat, knowing that behind it there were several buttons that were loose. Alex waved at Lena after the woman smiled at her.  
And Lena didn't text Alex after she got home. That's too intense, a little too much. Lena was too careful about this, Alex either.__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope Alex and Lena can meet at a point where they can accept each other, with open arms. They are a fantastic couple for me, and what do you think?


	10. I miss you, a little too much..

A thousand debates in Alex's mind. it's February 18th. Three days after she last saw Lena. She missed her. desperately want to meet her. But they are not official yet.  
Also now is weekday, Lena is the CEO for two super large companies.  
And while Alex needs distraction, National City is quite safe, only a few aliens tried to rob a Jewelry shop this morning.  
She stares at her cellphone, scrolls the "L" alphabet on her contact, then places it on her desk, then does it again, over and over several times,  
before she decided to send a short message.  
  
 _Alex Danvers : How's your day?_  
  
Alex pressed the OK button before changing her mind.  
  
And when her cell phone beeps, her heart follows.  
  
 _Lena Luthor : Just finished reading Financial report, how about you?_  
  
 _Alex Danvers : There's a steak house near your office, two blocks from there. I've been wanting to try it for a long time.  
  
Alex Danvers : I mean i'm asking you to go with me. _  
  
Alex typed again, then shake her head, feeling regret it, _feeling stupid_  
  
 _Alex Danvers : You don't have to say yes.  
  
Lena Luthor : Dummy, pick me up on seven _  
  
Alex exhaled, relieved, excited, then nervous, _what a good combine._  
  
  
It didn't take long for Alex to head to the DEO shower. change her clothes in the locker room.  
She has spare clothes there, not her best clothes. But she just wanted to be herself, too tired to force something, after all she also wanted Lena to be herself.  
If they do have possibility to be something, Alex wants to give it all, Alex cam see the relationship between Lena and James, she has eyes after all, they don't really give in to that relationship. for God's sake, Alex didn't see the chemistry in the relationship, absolutely not, but it's not her problem anyway.

  
Alex waiting for Lena in front of her office after telling Lena that she was here, waiting in front of his SUV car, a car she almost never used.  
Lena loves to see Alex in casual clothes, making her forget that they have been through a dark time together.  
And Alex just realized that her clothes today doesn't match Lena at all, Lena is still in CEO mode ON, her tight dress that press her body shape perfectly, with a slight slit above her knee, Alex looks at her from top to bottom, without trying to stand out, her jaw drops, this woman is really breathtaking.  
  
Does she dream? having a date with this woman, _Or they don't..._  
  
Alex opened the door for Lena, and closed it when the woman sat in the passenger seat. Alex hesitant to speak, and she was grateful that their destination was so close. Because being with Lena in the car making her quite nervous.  
  
"I thought we would ride your Ducati," Lesa says.  
  
"What? You're not--- dressing like that i mean."  
  
"Why not? i can show you another time," Lena answered while giving Alex a defiant look.  
  
_Okay, it means there would be another date, or it's not, maybe it's just girls night out, who knows?_  
  
"I don't know you own a car."  
  
"Really? Of course i can make it."  
  
Lena stared at Alex who sat next to her, who took her words wrong. "You know it's not what i mean. I thought you love your Ducati, Kara tells me how much you love it."  
  
Alex shrugged her shoulders. "I bought it, after Maggie said yes. You can't take your family go to camping with your Ducati," Alex paused, "And then everything happens, and this car is just a waste of money."  
  
"You put a lot of things in your last relationship. Well, i don't talk about money."  
  
"And we're not here to discuss any of my past relationship," Alex smiled, and they were in front the Steak House.  
  
After opening the car for the younger woman, Alex was waiting for her to come out, gesturing her to walk first. But Lena wants to walk beside her, even if they don't touch each other. Alex knows this is a public place, and Lena Luthor is more famous than any celebrity in National City. She's not sure Lena wants to look intimate with her in public.  
  
They got a table in the private corner on the room. Steak was served, both love it, good wine was served, not a fancy one but it's great, conversation flowed easily,  
Lena is right that they share a lot of same interests, and it's so interesting to know what would going on next.  
  
The awkward feeling started to fade away. They talk about their time in college, in science, the field of science each were very very well versed in, and the admiration grows, naturaly.  
Lena began to wonder why Alex choose to work in the field than to focus on science, Alex is a genius after all.  
And this is almost like a date. _Really.. at least for Alex_  
  
After all, they consume more wine than they have realized. And the night is getting late, Lena didn't really want the night to end, really. She hates how Alex makes her so comfortable, even though with her clumsiness, Alex looks real, not pretend, and she likes being with Alex, like a little a lot.  
  
However, no matter what, she knows that Alex is still healing, but Lena is finding it's harder and harder to ignore the sign of attraction toward Alex.  
  
"Well i guess we have to calling it a night." Lena smiled and touch Alex forearm, which was on the table, and Alex immediately reacts to the touch, or because of wine, okay, she blames it to the wine.  
  
Lena waited patiently when Alex handle the bill. And whether because of wine or not, Alex did not hesitate to hold Lena's hand when they walked out and felt sad when they had to let her go after Lena got into the car.  
  
Alex knew they'd be at Lena's in less than fifteen minutes. And Alex didn't want to run out of time then with no doubt, she took Lena's one hand in hers and held it gently. She had to admit that alcohol made it all easier.  
  
"Lena look, i don't want this become temporary. You know what i mean."  
  
Lena felt the warmth flowing through her chest, not the warmth from alcohol, this warmth was different. "Me too.." That's the only words she can say.  
  
"You have to prepare. Maybe since today I will bother you, you might get bored of me quickly, and regret this. Tell me when that happens." Said Alex, but hoped otherwise.  
  
"I am afraid that you will be the first who get bored with me," says Lena, with a mocking smile on her face.  
  
"Why should i.. i mean you are--- perfect." Alex says, and she really mean it.  
  
Lena knows Alex means it, but she didn't dare to be this happy. Luthor is not allowed to feel happy.  
  
"Why would you saying that, Alex? i was too problematic, insecure, in constant danger, cold and paranoid, _bitch_ , heroin, at least that's what I read on----" She’s cut off by Alex tugging her forward, bringing their lips together in a kiss, open-mouthed and hard, Alex dropping her hands to Lena’s hips, pull her closer, then backing her up against the passenger seat, Lena melts into it willingly, one hand going to Alex’s cheek and the other one fisting in her shirt.  
Lena didn't really realize how long they have kissed, in front of her apartment, Lena hopes that no one will catch them because Lena doesn't want to stop. Who knows since when Alex pulled her dress's zipper down, Lena realized that she was half naked when Alex flicking open Lena's bra claps that open from the front, one of Alex's hand is on Lena's ass, squeezing it, the other using her thumbs to cares Lena's nipple, bringing it into a state of erect. Lena sucked a deep breath, arching her back to give Alex more access.  
  
"God, you are so hot! " Alex sighed, frustrated, the moment she realizing where they were, still in the car. Damn!  
  
Both of them gasped as they decided to stop. Alex kissed the top of Lena's chest before helping her tidy up her dress. Their faces are so close as if Alex doesn't care anymore about the distance. She caressed Lena's lips with her thumb, gently, when Lena looked at her affectionately.  
Alex smoothed the dress one more time, make sure no one realizes when Lena gets off later, that they were just making out in the car.  
"I thought i'm gonna miss you." Alex says as her hand cup Lena's cheek and kiss it gently.  
Lena still staring at her, confused, give in, _falling.._ , asking herself, _may i?_  
  
Alex Danvers doesn't give her too many options, it's fixed, it's something for sure. They couldn't keep it from happening.  
  
"I hope it won't take three days more for you to text me," Lena hissed, soft, deep, heavy, full of hope....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, i know it's so silly about the make out session in the car. Two strongest woman in the National City, act like a horny teenager, so.. i'm so sorry guyss :(
> 
> But i kinda like that.. :)


	11. Kara Danvers

And it goes like this, everyday Alex find it easier, with Lena, and Lena find it so easy to falling for the older Danvers, still, _they not official yet_ , but they respect each other.  
And for now, it's just enough..  
Alex no longer goes to the bar, seeking for pleasure. Replaced it with they spending the night together, weekend, day off, sometimes in Alex's place, sometimes at Lena's. Alex gives Lena the spare keys, Lena took it sheepishly, the key felt warm in Lena's hand when Alex put it down.  
And It took Lena a little while before she told Alex the password for her apartment code. Lena never gave it to anyone, not James, neither Kara.  
And Alex really appreciate it, it's getting better day by day, no one in a rush.  
It's just that the needs to see each other is getting bigger from time after time.  
They sharing food, sharing bed sometimes, but no sex, no one is totally naked, valentine's night is the first and last night they _did_ it.  
No one dares cross the line. Besides, they promised not to rush. Alex is so impatient when with Maggie, too soon, that spontaneous proposal, doesn't end well in the end, and she can't imagine losing this woman, she's used to feels Lena's scent, sweet, like honey.. she used to feel the warmth of Lena's body in her arms.  
And selfishly, she wants to make this forever, but never have courage to ask this woman. Alex is just trying to enjoy it, cherish the moment.  
On the other hand, she felt like she needs to tell Lena how good she is, how her last name didn't reflect her true self.  
Alex swears to God she going to tell her every day, until she gets bored, until she realizes how good she is. She wants Lena feel loved, and Lena can see it, clearly, that Alex is working on something for her.  
She didn't dare enough, and maybe never will, imagine, or claim this happiness was hers.  
 _This is almost unreal.._  
That baddas Alex Danvers, her sweet smile, her soft gesture, which is usually only seen by Lena from a distance, from across the room.  
Make Lena question herself, how long has she admired the older Danvers?  
  
  
Today, in DEO, Alex received a message from Kara, apparently Kara tried several times to send her messages, but the DEO satellite didn't get it. And the message that arrived today is also in Krypton code, Winn needs several hours to working on it.  
  
  
 _Alex, this is my thirteenth message, bad numbers  
I'm almost desperate to tell you that I miss you so much, so so much, i miss Eliza  
I miss National City.  
Yeah I'm very happy to come home, powerless, not necessarily in a hurry to flying around the city, eat my favorite childhood cake, but there are no Potstickers here, I miss Potstickers,  
Moreover I miss sharing Potstikers with you.  
I wish I could get back there soon. I miss hugging you and hurting your bones in the process :)  
But before I get back, take care of yourself for me, don't get into trouble, please take care of yourself, stay alive.  
I'm not going back to an earth that you're not in it._  
  
  
And then one follow-up message comes in the server, which Alex doesn't know how many times Kara has sent it.  
Alex can feel the depressed in this message, there is sadness in here, Alex can feel it, she knows Kara very well.  
  
  
 _Alex, i want you to tell Lena that i miss her, but I'm afraid she's going to ask you questions  
And I know we can't tell her where I am right now, so don't..  
I miss her, really.. Almost as much as I miss you, she's really a good person  
she's been through it all with us..  
I'm really sad, Alex, you know.. she's been hurt, all her life  
She's been through a lot of pain because of her family,  
And I've lied to her for two years, i think about it everyday..  
my heart hurts every time I imagine her right there, alone?  
  
Oh Alex, please, if you have time, can you stop by?  
Bring her salmon steak, add kale on it, she likes it, so much.. please please..  
I know you're not close to her, but please.  
I love her, she's my best friend and she's alone,  
And i'm considering telling her about Supergirl when I get back.._

  


11  
  
Alex's eyes are foggy, after reading Kara's last message, which mentions Lena in it. It's not just Kara who feels guilty. So is she.  
She lied to Lena, too. And it's hurting her now. Kara will tell Lena after she's comes back, and she will let Kara say it herself, she won't step over Kara.  
  
  
So, here is Alex, standing in front of Lena's office door, Jess just let her in because Lena put her on the special list, she can come in anytime she wants.  
  
"Hey Lee. i bring you lunch." the sultry voice infused with desire, just make Lena want to stand up and kiss her right now.  
  
Alex Danvers in her jeans and leather jacket, feels unreal but she's real.  
Alex smiled broadly at her, almost tearing her face off. Lena's heart was warm, knowing Alex stopped by her office, brought her lunch. Very special, because it's Alex Danvers. Danvers girl is always something.  
  
"Hey, see something you like?," Alex smirk, then lift one of her hand to stroke Lena's cheek with the back of her knuckles, Lena look at her fondly, completely failed to hide her feelings for this woman. And the feeling of guilty burning in Alex's chest.  
Alex lean forward to stick her lips on Lena's, stay there for two seconds, before she pulled back.  
"What was that for? The kiss i mean, not that it is not welcome."  
  
"Do you need a reason for that?"  
"I mean just look at you," Alex stares at Lena's tight suit, making Alex can't bear not to unbutton her blouse. "I like it when you're on your CEO mode." she whispered breathily on Lena's ear.  
Lena shuddered.  
  
"So. Maybe i should wearing this in the bedroom, because my best lingerie didn't even work on you." Lena raised an eyebrow, encircling her arms around Alex's neck, playing on her hair at the back of her nape, while Alex now placed her hand behind Lena's lower back to support her.  
“Lena, today i talk to Kara.." Alex says, she felt Lena step back after hearing Kara's name, her expression changed, all these while Alex never mentioned Kara, like no one darw enough tk bring the topic, and Alex felt like she had to continue.  
  
"Not real talk, she send me--- e-mail."  
"She told me she miss you, _like a lot_. And she would comeback, soon.. she also told me to bring you salmon with Kale."  
Lena retreats again until her back hits the desk. "Kara.. She.. she never called me, not even a text." Lena stuttered, a sign of tears in her eyes, Alex knows Lena is hurt.  
Alex goes forward to grab Lena again, she feels the need to keep this woman close to her. To calm her for whatever she feels right now.  
Alex pulled her into her chest, and surrounded Lena’s body with her arms. A Hug, then buried her face in the curves of Lena's neck, Lena can feel Alex's hands caressed the back of her body.  
  
"It's not your fault after all, you don’t have to hug me. I know she's hurt, about Mon-El.. But I'd appreciate it if she'd give me a call." Lena answers, still in Alex's arms, not really willing to get away.  
  
"Do you Danvers sisters like to leave?." Lena pulls herself up to look into Alex's eyes. She looks so fragile. Alex looked back at her, if only she could choose the right sentence to convey her feelings to Lena. Because the "L" word would sound ridiculous right now. And Alex also needs to convince herself about her feelings to the younger woman.  
  
She’s not expert with feeling afrer all.  
"Lena. i won't.." Alex answers simply. “i always be right here, as long as you want me too. I promise. And i hug you because i want to.”  
There’s no hesitation when she says it, no indecision, no doubt, and more than anything else in the world, it’s convinces Alex that they’re going to be okay, between her and Lena, And it would be a good start.  
  
Alex reaches forward, hooking her hand around Lena’s hip to pull her forward until their body pressed together. Alex finds that lips in the hopeless moment, pulling her into a gentle kiss that doesn’t stay gentle as they shift against each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment. Let me know :)


	12. Another Confension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Actualy i miss Sam so much.. at the some point i love Sam in screen but i prefer Alex/Lena than Sam/Lena or Sam/Alex. Soo i hope you all enjoy it :)

"I just don't get it Sam." Lena is sitting in her office, a glass of wine in one hand, the other hand massaging her own forehead.  
She'd been talking to Sam on the phone for an hour, relieved that she still had Sam in Kara's absence, but, even though there is Kara, Lena also will not discuss this things with kara, how come? discusses her sense of sexual frustration towards the older Danvers.  
  
Lena has been dating Alex for over two months. And that Valentine's night remains their first sex, a very short time.  
When Alex was still her friend, Lena couldn't lie to herself. She sometimes imagines the baddass wild Alex Danvers in bed, even though she knows that Alex is soft gay, but this is unbelievable.  
  
"Maybe she just shy, sometimes she's litellary cute.. you know?," Sam chuckled.  
  
"Damn, Sam. Alexandra Danvers, the Director of DEO be shy, you must be kidding me."  
  
"Well, you've been sleeping with her over months, and she hasn't tried to do anything more than just kiss you and grab your boobs, seriously?"  
  
"But let me tell you something.. "  
  
Sam was silent for a moment, thinking, or re-call her memories, Lena waited, still frustrated.  
  
"The night before i left National City, we all are in Kara's apartment. I followed Alex as she walked to the balcony, thanking her in person.. _I kiss her..._ ,"  
the last sentence sounded more like a whisper.. "And guess what.. she didn't kiss me back. I took her off before things going to be awkward, and i end up giving her a friendly hug. _Fuck.._ that's embarrassing."  
  
"Oh, Sam.. what? why you don't tell me? i shouldn't---"  
  
"Damn it, Lena.. stop.."  
  
"No, i'm so sorry, i should ask you first before it's--"  
  
"Stop Lena, for God's sake. I'm a little drunk that night, and that _Reign_ thing got me a little too emotional.. but Alex, who doesn't want her? If it doesn't me, it should be you.." Sam laughed from the other side.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"I'm not fighting with you over Alex, damn it.. but i consider fight with Alex over you. You know, you're the best darling.. ," Sam laughed again.  
  
"Stop kidding, _Sammy_ it didn't solved any of my problem anyway." Lena massaged her forehead harder.  
  
" _Dariling.._ you just need to come out and ask her."  
  
"And lost my dignity. Great."  
  
"Lena, it doesn't sound like you.. really.. i thought you are, _ehm, in love?_.. don't you? Dear God, i'm so happy."  
  
Lena smiled, and suddenly got panic attack. Falling in love with Alex Danvers? Sweet. But imagine how heartbroken it would be if it didn't work with Alex? enough to make her knees weak with fear.  
  
"I don't know, Sammy.. we didn't even talk about that." Lena sighed.  
  
" _Fuck.._ You both not doing sex, yet didn't talk about feeling, so what the hell are you doing? i'm kinda dissapointed with these two Director. i thought you guys were going to rock the world."  
  
"Enough, Sammy.. i'm going to ask her tonight."  
  
Sam laugh again, so hard, _Damn, Lena miss her Sammy so much_  
  
"Just tell me how it going.. i can imagine your frustated face, craving for sex.."  
  
"Fuck you _Sammy_..." Said Lena before hugh up the telephone.  
  
  
Then so many messages from Alex came in as soon as she hung up the telephone.  
  
  
_Alex Danvers : Your place or mine?  
  
Alex Danvers : Hey  
  
Alex Danvers : In meeting?  
  
Alex Danvers : In Conference Call?  
  
Alex Danvers : Live Conference Call?  
  
Alex Danvers : Lena Kieran Luthor.... your phone is busy for more than a hour  
  
Alex Danvers : it MUST be very important Conference Call, with investor or.... ?  
  
Alex Danvers : What are you wearing today?  
  
Alex Danvers : Remember the rules about how to dress during working hours?  
  
Alex Danvers : You can't no longer show your cleavage to that old mans, not anymore..  
  
Alex Danvers : Okay Lena Luthor, you make me worry.. i'm heading to L-Corp. _  
  
Just after Lena finish read Alex's last message, still with a smile hanging on her face, the messages from Alex made her happy, simple as that.  
  
It's so soo contrast to the fact that a Luthor shouldn't be happy.  
  
Alex Danvers standing there. In front of her office 's door, freezing. Sweating, in this cold weather. still in her uniform, messy hair, _completely sexy..._  
  
"What? you ignoring me? " Alex asked hesitantly, trying to read the look on Lena's face, which is unreadable.  
  
"I didn't know Director Danvers were so overprotective," Lena grins. Stand up and cross her arms over her chest.  
  
Alex is a little relieved, it means they are fine, imagining Lena Luthor is geting boring of her, scaring her to death..  
  
Alex quickly took a step and pulled Lena in her arms, kissed her cheek gently, rubbed her nose around Lena's ear. Loving Lena like a child. Lena's heart was beating hard, full of affection. Yet so terrible. Alex Danvers driving her crazy.  
  
Alex make her feel the emotions that a Luthor shouldn't feel. Not only the walls has been smashed to pieces. But alex also made her their own little world, a very strange world.  
_A world that too comfortable, too good to be true.._  
  
"i thought you are busy. Am i interupting on something?," Alex asked while releasing that hug, but still putting her arms around Lena's waist, keeping her close.  
  
"I just finished talking to Sam on the phone."  
  
"Sam? Samantha Arias?,” Alex raised her eyebrow.  
  
"You never talked to me on the phone for that long." Lena saw Alex dark brown eyes, calm, not Director Danvers's eyes, but its Alexandra Danvers's eyes, _her Alex_  
  
"So now you're _jealouse?_ With me, or with Sam? The one who kissed you on the balcony?" Lena hissed in her ear, deep, wet, full of desire..  
  
Lena could see Alex's face blushed. Awkward. But she hasn't take her arm away from Lena's.  
  
"Would you mind to share with me why don't you kiss Sam back at the moment? You were single, and we didn't need a very deep feelings just to kiss someone?." It's Lena's turn to rise her eyebrow.  
  
"Because.. at the moment-- " Alex paused, hold her breath. "Okay.. it's because back then again, i have someone else on my mind." she replied, looking at the face of the person who is being really important to her right now.  
  
Lena's face was blurred, _hurted_ , no matter how much she tried to hide it.  
  
"Okay, so now I should feel lucky because that person didn't welcome you so i can get you like a _prize?_?"  
  
"She did.. actually, _she did_." Alex smirks, and it feels like a knife stabbed right in her chest.  
  
Lena trying to pull away from Alex, while Alex hold it even stronger and laughed. A sense of insecurity welled up in her chest, screaming angrily at Alex.  
  
" _Lee..._ Is it ridiculous? if I tell you that the woman is you, Lena Luthor? that I already having crush on you for months, long before you broke up with James?" Alex says softly, so softly that make Lena melts.  
  
And dammit, Lena's heart thumps in her chest again, betraying every protest that she wants to let fall from her lips, and Lena feels that pull again, that need to being close with Alex Danvers.  
  
"But why you didn't tell me?" Lena hisses, Alex can barely hear it, only reading it from her trembling lips.  
  
"How can i? You were with James, and you were so happy, and safe, at least that's what it looks like. The most important thing for me is that you are happy."  
  
Alex caressed her back gently and Lena's eyes began to sting again from unreleased tears, Alex hold Lena ever tighter yet comforting.  
  
Yes, she could stay like that for forever, nevertheless Alex pulled back to look at the younger woman eye's. The older Danvers caressed her cheek where the sight of tears start to fall, _happy tears_ And drown briefly to kiss her red painted lips.  
  
And that's when it all click together, and finally all the things is make sense..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what so you think about this chapter? :)


	13. Drunk Alex

So, it's friday night, Alex should be with Lena tonight, watch their favorite movie on Netflix, have a simple dinner, and maybe ice cream as a dessert.  
  
But this afternoon when Lena still in her office to do some finnancial report, she received a message from Alex.  
  
_  
Alex Danvers : Deo is having a farewell party today, Agent Lawson is retiring..  
  
Alex Danvers : Care to join us? Maybe you want to meet Winn.. He had mentioned your name lately.  
  
Lena Luthor : So what do you answer to Winn?  
  
Alex Danvers : What do you want me to answer? LOL..  
  
Lena Luthor : Okay, forget it..  
  
Alex Danvers : I told him you're in good hands... :)  
  
Lena Luthor : Well, not a really good answer  
  
Alex Luthor : So, you're in? then you can show Winn your self how happy you are with me.  
  
_  
Lena blushed, none of this seemed real, but it is..  
  
Showing her relationship with Alex to everyone sounds a little sweet to Lena. But honestly, she never imagined it before. Instead of not wanting to, but when she's with Alex, they're like having their own world and no one in it.  
  
_  
Lena Luthor : Maybe next time, have a nice time. Try not to get too drunk :)  
  
Alex Danvers : So, you rejected me?  
  
Lena Luthor : Alex, darling, not all agents are like Winn, not everyone is comfortable in the same room with a Luthor, I don't wanna be a burden.  
  
Alex Danvers : First, you're not a burden. Two, you're don't need everyone, you only need me, and Kara. i know we Danvers sister mean meant the world to you :)  
  
_  
And that feeling comes again, strange.. so foreign, Lena had never felt that before and therefore it was really new and therefore it doesn't really is, it's just... too comfortable.  
Her brain didn't sure how to put this feeling, or how to respond it. And yes, Kara.. Kara Danvers, she miss this person a lot, until it hurts.. and painful.. And she's start wondering how Kara would responds to her relationship with Alex.  
Or did Alex tell Kara already? Lena wasn't sure, because Alex herself never talked about it.  
  
_  
Lena Luthor : Alright, charmer.. so, i'll see you tomorrow morning?  
  
Alex Danvers : Looks like you can't get away from me  
  
Lena Luthor : Okay, have a good evening Director Danvers.  
  
  
_  
Then, here it is.. Lena couldn't hide her disappointment, she hated spending the night alone. _And this is not her style_. She's Lena Luthor after all.. When she was with James, she kept building a wall no matter how much she likes James. Not that she didn't like spending time with James. But a Luthor used to build walls, and that was who she was, and now she isn't.  
  
So this is where she spends the night, in her lab. Work with a little experiment. She needed to take her mind off of Alex.  
But it made her miss Alex even more. Being here, in her Lab, her mind flies.. fly to the moment when she started being close to Alex. The moment when Sam was still here, and Kara..  
  
_Yeah Kara..._  
Lately, the name always comes to her mind. The closer she gets to Alex, the shadow of Kara is always there even if Lena doesn't want to remember that name.. she's hurt, Kara is her best friend, and going months without a message isn't a good thing for a friendship.  
And if Kara was really sad about Mon-el's things, of course she always ready to comfort and cheer her up. The point is , she could not accept that Kara didn't even give her a chance, but also she missed her with all the fiber in her body..  
  
  
  
So, it's 02.00 AM in the middle of the night, Lena still on her Lab, she had a pair of headphones on, listening to some classical music and didn't hear when someone entered, it's her private lab anyway, no one can enter without her permission, but she just forget that she gave the password to Alex recently.  
  
Lena pulled away from the microscope, sneezing for several times, and as she did so, the strong arms slowly came around her waist and she was captured in a moment being loved and warmth feeling.  
  
"There you are Miss Luthor.." Alex Danvers whispered into her ear, as she leaned her head next to Lena's. She then proceeded to plant soft kisses down Lena's neck.  
Lena immediately smiled, placing her cold hands on top of Alex's, as she tilted her head, letting Alex to continue the soft touches of her lips into her skin, followed by the warm breaths, long kisses, and slight sucking, led to the perfect shivers along her skin, that tingled her nerves as she feels the woman's lips on hers.  
  
"I went to your apartment, then to your office, _empty_ .. I should have known you were here. _Nerd.._." Alex sighed along her skin, her breath smells of alcohol, _tequila_ , wondering how much she drank tonight.  
  
"You going to three different places, drunk, just to find me tonight?" Lena said, breathing heavily as she lost herself in this moment. A few moans of pleasure escaped her lips, before she pulled away and looked to the red-hair's face.  
  
Alex looked into her eyes. Alex is so loving and and her eyes are full of adoration. She paused for a moment, then stole a glance at the goddess, the genius, her Lena Luthor, then wrap her hands tighter around Lena's.  
  
"I'll go through the 63 earths just to find you," she said as a smile formed on her face, a flirtatious smile..  
  
For a moment Lena is considering taking the talk seriously, but how can that be? Maybe Alex is just smooth talker.  
  
"I know you think I'm telling you a lie, but i speak the truth." Alex eyes darken, eyes that Lena has never seen so far, _is Alex really drunk?_  
  
"You drunk.. "  
  
"Of you..." Alex said before she lean a kiss again to her Lena, kissing her senseless and exploring the warm depths of her mouth, Alex's hands tangled in Lena's hair, kissing her, teasing her, tasting her, then Alex runs her hand down to Lena's back, and then to the back of her thighs, inside her skirt. Lena's smile is carefree, happy, amazing, as Alex lifting her easily on her desk, hand still inside her skirt, moving it up and down.. Alex has never played in that area, didn't count that Valentine night and Lena wondered where this would go.  
  
Alex is really careful as Lena sit down, reaching to the claps of Lena's dress, unzipping it slowly, as continue kissing Lena while she lower the zipper.  
  
"Alex..." Lena gasped.  
  
Alex stepped back, and lift Lena's ass to push the dress apart to slide it down Lena's body.  
  
"It's not fair Alex.. you're fully clothes," Lena gasped again.  
  
They stare at each other for a moment before Alex stops the silent an begins to unbutton her own shirt, she throws it on the floor, eyes looked with Lena's.  
  
"See something you like?," Alex teases as she reaches to unbutton her pants.  
  
"Definitely.." is the breathless response she can gives to Alex.  
  
Alex moves forward, soft and slow, taking her time in savoring it, Alex moves lower across her collarbone and diving in it, savoring, and tasting the skin whenever she can reach, and her hand searched for a way to unhook Lena's bra.  
Yeah, Alex is drunk, either by alcohol, or by this woman..  
When the bra is removed, she find her self staring at Lena, lost in the dark emerald eyes. Alex maintains eye contact while she leans in, placing a soft kiss to the area above Lena's nipple, before she flicks her tongue over the skin there, lower until she can reach the hard nipple and sucks it into her mouth.  
  
"God, Alex.. don't you dare to stop.." Lena gasped.  
Alex didn't need further instruction. She kneels before Lena, kissing the inside of Lena's thigh, in an intoxicating up and down motion. Lena can't hide the desire that burns her chest, she's so wet.. she's been wanting this for a long time but is too embarrassed to ask. Her ego was afraid that Alex was doing this because she was drunk, but her lust overpowered her ego this time, she didn't want to stop.  
  
Lena grabbed Alex's hair and started riding Alex's face the best she could, Lena doesn't realize when Alex shifts her panties to the side and start working on it.  
Her mouth was looking for Lena's clit in the dim light and it didn't take long to find it, and it stayed there for a while, she gives a hard lick and sucking it. Then sliding her tongue down to the slit and put more deep licks to the inside, this continued until the younger woman, almost breathless, said, "I need you inside, please."  
  
And Alex did just as she was told, her fingers slipped inside, her mouth back to Lena's clit, simultaneously working on that, Lena immediately started to feel the sensations of orgasm built up, and feel a little embarrassed why she came so fast.  
  
"Alex, _darling..._ , please..."  
  
Alex didn't stop, she was fingering and sucking fast enough to make Lena's body tremble so hard and shook with orgasm. Alex felt Lena's pussy clench tight around her fingers.  
  
Then Alex stood up slowly until her eyes met Lena's. No matter how much Lena wants to enjoy seeing Alex's delicious naked body, enjoying the firm muscles that are there, the magnets in those brown eyes pull her deeper, to look at them.  
Alex's gaze changes, her eyes darken, and deep, like an unpredictable depth of the ocean. She doesn't know what the stares means yet, but she's going to find out. When she realizes Alex is standing stiffly in front of her, Lena's hand gently pulls Alex's hip, to get close to her.  
  
"Director Danvers, What brought you here all of the sudden and f--?"  
  
Alex puts her index finger over Lena's lips before she finishes her sentence.. "Don't use F word on me.."  
  
"Let me guess, you think i'm drunk.."  
  
"You are.."  
  
"Lena, i love you. I really in love with you, _like a lot.._ " The last words sounds like a whisper..  
  
Alex puts her cold right hand on Lena's face, her body advances closer to the naked body, her thumb caresses that cheek and if she doesn't see it wrong, there are tears pooling in the woman's eyeballs.  
  
“Alex.. i—“  
  
"I decided to tell you that I'm in love with you, _so deep and so much_ , in our short time together yet i don't know if you feel the same, so i'm giving you time before telling me any answers because when you do, you can’t take it back."  
  
And Alex close the distance, they were hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder. Though there's certainly some kind of spike in the heart race which both of them didn't dare to admit to even them self.  
  
Alex didn't let her go for a second that night. She wants to tell Lena more about her feelings but she doesn't want to scare her. But what she realized tonight was that she had fallen too deep to this woman.


	14. is this even real?

"So, Alex.. are you and Maggie still keep in touch?" Lena asked, all of the sudden, while both of them stroll down by waterfront, after having dinner at a fancy restaurant near the river. No special occasion, but this is becoming more frequent, at first they just spent time in their apartments, taking turns, one night at Alex's, the other night at Lena's.  
  
But now they started spending time outside, more in public, just the two of them, even no one ever called it a date, it just happen like that.  
  
It's totally different when there is Kara, they have more time with the gang when Kara is still here.  
  
And Lena never thought, spending time with Alex is very easy.. _It's very normal.._  
It didn't take too long to get used to it, as if she's been doing this her whole life.  
  
Sometimes Alex forces her to eat fast food like burgers, and sometimes Lena forces Alex to eat kale, and they are used to blending it together, nothing strange..  
No one has ever discussed about the past, as if forgotten.. as if Valentine night few months ago was the first time they met, making Alex quite surprised Lena mentioned the name of her ex-girlfriend, _her ex-fiancé.._  
  
"Keep in touch?" Alex asked, her face was a little confused and unprepared. "Keep in touch like what?"  
  
"Like.. Say hello to each other on phone.. or maybe meet up and having coffee together, or--"  
  
"No." Alex replied, firmly, then Alex stop walking and leaning up on the railing, and Lena followed, their shoulders pressed against each other. "Why the sudden ask?"  
  
Alex shifted to turn towards Lena. She stood there, with her hands in her pocket as if she was cold, but secretly, she's just nervous.  
  
Before Lena answered why, Alex started talking again. "I mean, we never talk personally or meet for personal purposes, yeah work thing yes.. we talked on the phone several times regarding several cases. And met accidentally at the work scene."  
  
Lena nodded, her expression is unreadable, and Alex wants to know why, where is this conversation would be going. "I need to tell you something.."  
  
Lena took a deep breath before continuing. And Alex more nervous than when she did a job interview for the DEO.  
  
"I think you need to know about my past.."  
  
_  
Which kind of past?_  
Alex twisted her memory, scrape out all the them. Kara should have told her all about Lena, inside-outside, there is no way anything will be missed.  
But, there she is, stood facing the woman she couldn't describe in words yet. Lena Luthor just like the sweet candy that became her addiction lately, only by being close to this woman could she could feel at peace. When Kara left, all left, Lena is the only thing that make sense to her.  
  
"Okay you can tell me everything." Alex nods and gave Lena her best charming smile.  
  
Just by looking at that smile, Lena choked. Sometimes she didn't even know how to deal with this woman. Alex is very charming, Alex is very smart, Alex likes science just like her, Alex is a good listener, Alex is very patient, Alex never gets angry with her or being disrespect, Alex is very soft and warm, and it's very dangerous.  
  
Sometimes Lena just wants to see the negative side of this woman, not that she wanted to found out Alex's mistakes. But being imperfect is normal, and it's not normal at all.  
  
"You know James was my last official relationship.."  
  
"Okay.."  
  
"And before James, there's Jack.." Alex remembers the name, Alex saw the sadness in Lena's eyes when she mentioned the name, and Alex knows why, she found out from Kara, and she was really sorry about it. Lena has saved Kara, _Supergirl_ , and Alex really thank for it.  
  
Lena looked into Alex's eyes doubtfully, before saying "And it's Kate, long before Jack."  
  
There was a long pause after that. Alex looked into Lena's eyes, the temperature started dropping at that time, because the sky was getting darker.  
Alex may not be too cold because of the leather jacket that is always being her trademark, which is why she also pulls Lena within her reach, caressing her body, offering warmth. And Lena can feel Alex touch the top of her head with a quick kiss, that little thing never fail to impresses her.  
  
"I didn't expect that. A woman? I thought--"  
  
"She was my first in everything." Lena answered quickly.  
  
_In everything?_  
"Oh."  
  
"Kara never mentioned it."  
  
"I never told her."  
  
"Oh.." _another Oh._. Alex is still learning to digest this information, she was quite surprised.  
  
"But Kara know her. She's one of Kara's friend. Kara once mentioned Kate when i talk about Gotham city, although I didn't ask how Kara knew her."  
  
_Another Surprise._  
KATE.  
  
GOTHAM CITY.  
  
KARA'S FRIEND.  
  
Then everything is _click.._  
  
"She's rich." The first thing Lena heard from Alex. Whether it was just her feeling or not, she felt Alex's arms loosen up on her body. But when the warmth feeling suddenly disappears, it's real.  
  
"And HOT as hell." Second words from Alex.  
  
"You have a good tasted on woman." Alex grinned, but it looked forced.  
  
"I was in boarding school. We're room mate, I'm really thankful because Kate was my room mate, because I don't know what would happen if it was someone else. Nobody likes me there."  
  
Alex tried to look at Lena's eyes even though she wasn't sure she could. She hated the feeling of pain in her stomach, like being hit by something so hard.  
For God's sake, she's 29 years old and she's the Director of an very important organization in United States. She couldn't accept herself receiving the storm that suddenly attacked her right in her chest, _was she jealous?_ jealous of someone from Lena's past?  
  
_Is Lena hers? So that she has the right to feel jealousy?_  
  
Alex suddenly realized what they were doing, yeah they are never official. They had sex, _yes_ , they spending time almost everyday, _yes.._  
But what if it's all just about sex? or simply because of Kara's absence. They both lonely. What if there is a Kara? maybe none of this will ever happen. maybe Lena will never seeing Alex this way.  
  
"And one day Lillian found out about that. She knew Kate's family background, and didn't do much things to Kate. But she just made sure that Kate and I never got to see each other again. She moved me to another school. Poison my mind in all possible ways, I was only sixteen at the time.." Lena hissed. And she was happy when she found Alex's hand was back on her body, give a little squeeze on her arms, there was an intimacy from the touch and Lena really loves it.  
  
  
"And I was really devastated at that time. It's not that I'm really heartbroken, I don't even understand what love is." When she mentioned "L" words, she looks into Alex's eyes, those warm brown eyes, like a glass of hot milk in the middle of winter, warm and sweeping, Lena wants to tell Alex that maybe now she understands what love is but she realizes that now is not the right time.  
  
"After my mother died," Lena hears herself say, her voice so small and broken. "Lionel came to get me a month later, he took me home, but i know it's not because he want me, but it's because that's the right thing to do. He never want me, either. Of course Lillian didn't, and after that, Lillian made sure that all the dreams that were in my head were killed. And that i will never be the same again, and everything I love will be lost, even my teddy bear, the only thing that reminds me of my mother, Lillian left nothing behind.  
and Lionel never felt weird when i started not sleeping with my teddy bear even though i was only five years old." She finally looks up, her eyes blurry, but her eyes blurry, but she can see clearly the concern written all over the red head's face.  
  
She can felt Alex really angry, her eyes flushed red, and Lena quickly leaned her head on the woman's chest, Alex's hand automatically stroked her back, she can felt Alex's lips on the top of her head again, more longer this time, and stay there. Alex didn't say anything but Lena was very comfortable inside this silence.  
  
"I would use all my power to make sure Lillian can't hurt you again, ever." Lena heard Alex whisper near her ear as Alex lowered her face to find the lips of the woman she loved. Alex pressed her lips lightly, her hands wrapped around Lena's hips, very protective.. The kiss feels like a little bit depression, Alex pressed slowly and hesitated before finally tucking his tongue to lick Lena's lower lip, so sweet.. then their tongues start swirling around one another. "You'll be safe, Lee.. i promise.." Alex says between kisses. And in an instant, Lena could forget how bad had Lillian made her, and she forgot to tell Alex another important thing.  
  
She was too immersed in this sweetness..


	15. Soft Alex Danvers

So, there is it, no one is ready to end the night, _yet.._  
  
As if there was never enough time for them to be together. Alex is the Director of the most important organization in United States, her job is to keep the earth safe. And Lena, she's a CEO of the largest company in United States, which may have a profound influence on the future of the earth. And here they are, finding time between, meet in the middle, like teenager who are drunk madly in love, unable to let each other go when they are together.  
  
Lena is still leaning on her sofa, in her apartment tonight. She watched Alex from afar, Alex Danvers had taken a shower and changed clothes, in her bathroom, Lena wondered why Alex didn't ask her to shower together. Alex Danvers in Lena's old Standford shirt, a little too big but looking cute on Alex. Alex Danvers, who looks good in Lena's kitchen, _and familiar.._ is working on something, which Lena finds out is hot chocolate. _Is this real?_ and in the dim light Lena could still see Alex's grinning face when she brought Lena a glass of hot chocolate.  
  
"It's hot. careful,"  
  
"Okay.." Lena sighed, as she found there weren't many words she could say to Alex. And Alex never forced her to reveal anything. Sometimes Alex just came to hug her, stroked her hair, until she fell asleep. That's how they go through the day lately..  
  
"What?" Lena asked when she realized Alex staring at her face.  
  
"Your make up."  
  
"Don't ask me to do anything with it tonight. I just want to relax, and enjoy you.." Lena replied, stroking Alex's hand which was on top of her thigh.  
  
"Okay princess, while you enjoy your drink, is it okay if i take it off?,"  
  
Lena frowned. "Well, i have been wearing it since early morning." Lena admits. Then she watched Alex disappear into the bathroom and come back with a warm towel and make up remover  
  
"May i?," Alex ask again, there was a softness in her voice, matched by her warm brown eyes. Browner tonight, or maybe it's just a feeling. All about Alex Danvers is very warm indeed..  
  
"Yes," Lena says nervously.  
  
Alex gently wipes away all the various expensive products on the CEO's face and Lena surprised to realize just how intimate the action is, Alex is really careful to not press too harshly, and when she has removed it all, she drops the wipes onto the floor and starts working on the pin that holding Lena's hair in place. Alex carefully removed the pin with satisfied smile and gently twist the beautiful dark hair so that is resting over Lena's shoulders.  
  
"Beautiful," She says as she put a light kiss on Lena's cheek.  
  
"You really spoiled me. Do you do this often with your _exs_?," Lena chuckles as Alex stares at her adoringly.  
  
"What? No.. since i just have one ex, and Maggie doesn't wear a lot of make up."  
  
Alex twists her body and throws her back on the couch, in one move she pulls Lena into her arms, Lena give in, let herself be in the arms of Alex Danvers. For a moment she closes her eyes to enjoy the smell of Alex's body, Lena is still half-conscious as Alex whispers in her ear gently. "So about the Teddy Bear. You got it from your mother, right?,"  
  
For a moment Lena didn't catch what Alex was talking about. _Teddy bear?_ Then her mind went back to that conversation with Alex at the bay. Lena has a habit of burying dark things in her life so she was surprised at herself that she told Alex about her birth mother, she never mentioned it to anyone.  
  
"Yes, why?." Lena lifts her head to look into the face of the woman who a few months ago was just a acquaintance, the sister of her best friend, a secret Government who is an endless enemy with her family, and maybe Lillian Luthor was the one who taken Alex's father from the Danvers family.  
  
In this point, Lena doesn't realize that Alex Danvers is the one who has entered her life, suddenly and coincidentally, and fits in with everything, and the most important thing is Alex makes her happy, a feeling she shouldn't have felt for too long..  
  
"Nothing. I just don't know that you're a Teddy Bear girl, i mean.. i thought you play with Rubik or something like that when you're a child."  
  
"Alex... of course i'm playing Rubik, but it's my mother gave me, that's maybe Christmas gift, i can't remember it, all i know is i bring it everywhere with me." Lena sighed, Alex heard the bitterness in Lena's voice, wishing she could go back in time and change this woman's life. Lena and Kara have the similar past, but have different journeys, And when Alex drowned in her own mind, Lena's cold hands on her cheeks pulled her back to earth.  
  
"What are you thinking, _Director_?Don't tell me you feel sorry for me.. i'm okay." Said Lena, her eyes are still locked on Alex.  
  
"No.. _no.._ " Alex sighs, her eyes see out of nowhere, and Lena sees her eyebrows furrowed, meet in the middle. "I just think that, no one can change the past, okay?." Alex stops, waiting for Lena to react, but none comes. "All we can do is build a better future, it sounds Cliché, right? But-- it's true." Alex glanced at Lena for a second, then threw away her face again, again look to nowhere, and Lena still looks at her in wonder.  
  
"----And... if all goes as I expect it to be, MaybeIcanbetheparentsofourchildrenandwe'llgiveourbestforthemsothey'llcanbethehappiestkidinthisworld, in this whole galaxy, maybe." Alex Said in superspeed, her face blushed, and Lena can clearly see it, and it definitely made her chuckle.  
  
"Or.. Maybe i can be the coolest aunty, with whoever you are in the end, _second possibility_.. back up plan you know." Alex Added, realizing that her idea might be too funny and make Lena chuckles. She's never felt this silly in her life, it's more embarrassed than when Maggie refused their first kiss.  
  
Lena grabbed Alex's face into her hand, looked at the woman, still smiling, unsure of what she was hearing, and a sense of warmth flowing in her blood, again.. _that's a new feeling_. She was shocked by some of the new things Alex brought to her life, and it's so terrified to imagine if it would disappear one day, like any other things in her life.  
  
"I'm more interested in hearing the original plan, can you say it slowly?," Lena smiled. With her fingers she held Alex's face to stare at her.  
  
"Don't teased me, Luthor.."  
  
"I'm not.. i mean it. Besides, i don't have any super-hearing, okay?."  
  
"I don't know, Lena. I forgot what I said."  
  
"No, Director.. you're a genius. Please?" Lena asked, and her puppies eyes weaken Alex's knees.  
  
"Don't you to dare laugh, okay?."  
  
"Okay.." Lena lifts her two fingers into the air.  
  
Alex pulls Lena Luthor in her arms, tighter, until there is no distance between them. "Listen, I don't know what we're going through. I've told you what I felt for you.. And I'm giving you time to confirm. There's no rush. Because I'm done with the uncertain things." Alex looks into those emerald green eyes, making sure she hears every word she says, even though her lips is shaking in every word she says. "You and me. Is the last thing I dare to imagine. You're out of my sight, laying here with you is like a walking dream, but know that I never want to wake up."  
  
" _Oh,_ Lena.. You know what made me broke up with Maggie, and I'm still pretty sure about that. What I'm learning right now is, I don't want to ask for it too soon. I need to prove myself first to the people I love, that I deserve what I dreamed of. Maybe if the people loved me a little bit more that it should be, she might want to share the same dream with me." Alex sighs. Lena sees a tear in her eye, Alex looks frustrated, _really frustated_ , Maggie's refusal really hurt her in the past.  
  
And Lena, will not give a sentence of comfort to this woman. This woman deserves something real in her life.  
  
"Alex..."  
  
"No, please keep it. I said i give you time." Alex moved her lips down to find Lena's lips, but she found her nose first and kissed her there.  
  
"I said backup plan, why? because I'm done with spontaneity. I just want you to know, Lena Luthor, that you're going to find me down the road, and every time you get lost, you're going to find me there."  
  
"I don't care how we end up. Either we're going to have kids together, little girls with green eyes like you and red hair like me. Or just green eyes and hair like any their other parent, i don't care. i just--"  
  
"Alex--." And Alex stopped her one more time. this time Alex pressed her lips to Lena's, the pressure is soft, and sweet, and Lena is almost distracted by it.  
  
"Please don't say anything. I'm done talking about feeling. Can we just get through it? _You and me?_ ," said Alex between kisses.  
  
"Okay," Lena breathless.  
  
And it goes like this, Lena pressed down into the back of her couch, lips fused with Alex’s as Alex’s fingers fumble with the zip of her dress. Alex wants to crawl into Lena’s heart and live there, wants to spend the rest of her life sinking into her warmth, but for now she just wants to enjoy their magical togetherness.  
Lena moans softly as Alex eases the zip down, inch by inch, letting her lips trail hotly over Lena’s exposed skin.  
When she gets to Lena’s nips she pauses, dipping her tongue into it and dragging her lips over the erect nip, and Lena arches up against her mouth with a gasp. Alex takes the opportunity to took of Lena's lace underwear, tossing it into the floor before returning her hands to Lena’s wet slit.  
  
"So, now you're getting more interesting on my bottom," Lena sighs as Alex's finger presses gently on her clit.  
  
"Who doesn't?" Alex replied, her breath hitches.  
  
"At first you didn't seem like you want to..."  
  
"No, i'm waiting."  
  
And with that Lena pushed Alex a little, forced Alex to stop _working_ , and looked into that brown eye, which is darken.  
  
"Waiting for what?," Lena ask, so serious, Alex can't bear it.  
  
"At least after you know I love you.."  
  
And that words, _those three words.._ those three words lifted Lena up to heaven. Her life has never been more make sense. It's like Alex came into her life to tell her that there's still a hope for her.  
  
Alex's fingers slide downward, leaving trembling muscles in their wake. With a growl of frustration, Alex put her fingers into that wet slit, and Lena takes advantage of it to press their lips together again.  
“Alex,” Lena gasps, arching towards her as Alex fingers move in and out. She leans forward to capture Alex’s lips in a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss, swallowing the moan when alex thumb start to rub her clit.  
  
“I love you, _Lee.._ ” Alex says again, her lips and words dragging hotly over Lena’s skin. Then three words has no less impact than the first time she said it, and Lena nearly unbalances both of them when she presses forward, she's so desperate to have as much contact with Alex as physically possible.  
  
“I love you, _Lena Kieran Luthor_ ,” Alex breathes against her lips, whispering the words over and over in time with her fingers and Lena’s rolling hips, and when Lena comes, it’s with Alex’s name on her lips, And Alex lips on her skin.

  
  



	16. First love is first love..

_“Ms. Luthor, Ms. Alex Danvers is here to see you.”_  
  
Lena smiled, “Send her in,” she speaking as the woman entered her office, with the food package in her hand, with Lena's favorite restaurant name in it.  
She laughed like sunshine, the tactic gear she wore didn't match the expression on her face, the face was very lovable, but Lena couldn't find the best way yet, or a right words to say to this woman, even this was very new to her, she felt strange how Alex Danvers still made her flutter every time she saw this woman standing in front of her.  
  
“Thank you, Jess.” Lena turned off the intercom, she heard what her secretary said and Jess knew that, too. “Well, hello, Ms. Danvers.”  
  
“Ms. Luthor.” The red-haired smiled at her _Maybe lover_ of four months, then lift her eyebrow  
  
Lena tilt her head to the side a bit, seeing the goofy look on the woman. “What? There is dirt on my face?”  
  
“Nothing, I’m just really love to see you.” Alex wrapped her arms around Lena, feeling the woman melt against her. They stayed that way for a few minutes, Alex slowly swing her lips, to meet Lena's, and put a little pressure there, wet and sweet. “Come on, let’s eat,” she said fondly.  
  
They sat on the couch, quietly eating and talking about their day, Alex told her about the little things that happened at DEO today, about the new weapon Win designed for her, also about how she fell asleep at her desk this morning.  
  
Lena eating her salad and making Alex eat some of her kale, again. Lena loves how Alex never turns down her kale. _Even Kara doesn't want to eat kale.._ And they still sat on the couch, Lena cuddling against her.  
  
"Maybe one day i won't work at the DEO anymore." Alex leaned back, smirking at Lena. "Of course when you ready to give up on your multi billionaire company."  
  
Lena put a hand against her chest, playfully looking appalled. " _Ouch.._ that's sounds like proposal, Director Danvers. So, what are you planning to do with us?"  
  
"I don't know.." Alex tilted her head to look at the goddess in front of her, her right hand played with Lena's hair that fell on her shoulders today, _Alex's favorite_ , and Lena almost shivered when Alex half whispered in her ear. "Maybe just living a simple life, in Midvale, or your hometown in Ireland, but i’m not sure if this Ms.CEO wants to go through it with me, sometimes i just--."  
  
"Alex.. " Lena cuts with a kiss on the agent's lips.  
  
"I can only hope that this is not a seduction technique you learned from DEO," Lena hisses, she almost using her tongue to lick Alex's lower lips when suddenly there was shouting outside and their attention got diverted. The doors opened, two people coming in and a familiar detective walking in first, who faltered in her steps seeing the two together.  
  
"Sawyer.." Said Alex, in a small voice, hardly believing she could call her ex-fiancée's name, in person, in the same room as her new love.  
  
And Lena can only freeze in her seat, one hand is still on Alex's thigh, but it's not as relaxed as before. Alex could see her face turn harden when she saw the person standing next to Maggie, and then Alex just find out why.  
  
The woman standing next to Maggie looks familiar, Alex has met her for several times, with Kara, _of course_ , work matters, but this is the first time Alex realizes this woman looks attractive, _and of course look rich_ , with whatever she wear on her body. Her face was tense as she stared at Lena with a thousand nostalgia in her eyes.  
  
"What's this all about?" Lena was the first to speak. Alex is still silent beside her, don't know how to react when There's here ex-fiancé here, _in this room_ , with Lena's first love. Just like a stupid Romance-Comedy movie.  
  
"Lena, i'm sorry." Kate started awkwardly, but her eyes were still on Lena's. "I tried to send texts, also e-mails, but you didn't answer, or you didn't get it? And when I asked for an appointment with your assistant, she told me that I could only see you around three months from now, i just--. Can i have a talk? With you? In private, _maybe?_ "  
  
"And what does all this have to do with Detective Sawyer?" Lena asked back, without answering Kate's question.  
  
Maggie shrugged, as if not intending to answer, instead she glanced at Kate who was standing awkwardly next to her.  
  
"Maggie is a good friend of mine, and when I told her about you and how I had a hard time to see you, she offered to help me get in here without an appointment. Once again, _I'm sorry.._ "  
  
“You better didn’t play with your badge _Mags.._ " said Alex, after being silent for a while, she put her hands on Lena’s shoulders, gently moving her thumbs, trying to remove the sudden tense in her body.  
  
Lena enjoy Alex's attitude to her, when she saw the change in the Detective's face, not that she hated Maggie Sawyer, but the last time this Detective entered her office by force, was to arrest her.  
  
"So, can I ask for your time?" Kate asked again, Lena is quite surprised, but she is a Luthor after all, and hopefully in this room no one realizes that her heart is beating fast, maybe only Alex is aware of it. She looked at Alex, as if asking permission. Even though she knows she doesn't need Alex's permission if she wants to.  
And Alex, who is very understanding and kind, even though this jealousy burns her heart, _something new_ , she squeezes Lena's hand to relieve his anxiety.  
  
"It's okay, i can leave. My lunch hour is also over." Alex smiled at Lena, the awkwardest simle she ever did in her life.  
  
"I can leave too.." Maggie raised her hand in the air, and grin. "...Or we can stop by the coffee shop, Danvers. It is been a while since last time we catch up"  
  
"Okay.." Alex replied, awkwardly. Her eyes were still following Lena and Kate when Alex realized Kate took a few steps forward and headed for Lena. Offered to shake hands, _which was a little too late_ , and the woman held Lena’s hand a little longer.  
  
Alex almost left without saying anything when suddenly Lena pulled her strong enough and gave a little kiss on her cheek. "I'll call you later?"  
  
Alex just nodded and gave her a thin smile, before she disappeared behind the door with the detective.  
  
  
And Lena didn't call.  
  
  
_Lena didn't texted.. yet she didn't pick up the call.._  
  
Now it's 8 pm, Alex checked her cellphone several times, and find nothing.  
  
At first she just sat and drink cups of coffee with Maggie, telling her about Kara returning to Argo City, since Maggie know everything about Kara, _about Supergirl.._ It feels pretty good to be able to share stories with people who already know your secret. And Maggie is still like she used to be, never change, she‘s warm and funny, if they never got engaged before, maybe they could be a very good friends.  
  
And then they ended up at their favorite Alien Bar, Alex needs a distraction, and she decides to turn off her phone when she starts to get annoyed with Lena and how many times she checked on her phone and found nothing.  
  
After a couple of pool games, bottles of beer, finally they switched to a few glasses of scotch. Alex was already half drunk when Maggie started to flooding her with topics she'd been avoiding all day long.  
  
“So, Lena Luthor, _huh_.”  
  
That earned a twitch of her eyebrow.  
  
“I’m glad you moved on. Though I’m not so sure I’m happy with whom you has done so.” Maggie added, when she found out Alex didn't intend to respond.  
  
"Jealousy doesn't look good on you, _Danvers_ " Maggie laughed, and there her killer dimples.. the thing that used to melt Alex's heart in the past. "I mean, you’ve met my ex before, and you look so good on it. You even offer her dinner, _Are you really in love with the Luthor? That far?_ Did Kara knows?"  
  
"No." Alex answers question about Kara.  
  
"Awful. I always thought that your sister have a crush on the Luthor, and the Luthor always look like one,"  
  
"I hope she's not. _I hope they're not_."  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
"I thought I would never see you again." said Kate, Lena looked at her, nothing changed this woman, her voice, the way she talk, only the tattoos on her body that made her different.  
  
They sat on Lena’s couch, her first girl friend is totally grow up. Lena almost think that Kate Kane is only her imagination because they never meet again since high school, and they never try to find each other, Lena heard about Kate a few times and maybe Kate too, but the never do anything to have a contact.  
  
_June 18 2017..  
  
"We don't have to do anything at all," Kate says, voice quiet, trying not to shatter the quiet in the room, they slept in the same room, for one semester at least. A few light kisses at first, and even heavier the moment the two couldn't avoid the attraction between them.  
  
"I'm just nervous," Lena says, that quiet confidence slipping just slightly. "What if I'm terrible at this."  
  
"You're not, babe. The things is i never did it with a virgin and i'm also not a virgin, it sounds unfair for you, you can--"  
  
Lena pulls to a stop at the dim light, turning completely to face Kate, turning Kate's chin to face her. "I’ve told you i want to give my first to you, okay? "  
  
There are no words to describe her feelings for Kate. it's just that she and Kate met at one point. She is a Luthor, whom everyone hated. And Kate has a problem with herself, her gay thing on a very young age. And they found each other at Hopeless place, Kate made her feel good, and comfortable.  
  
Lena's eyes shine as she leans forward to catch Kate, their lips connecting. Lena sighed when she realized Kate was touching her breasts, then pause.  
  
"That's fine," Lena answers, standing in the middle of their room, looking anywhere but at Kate, clearly nervous.  
  
"If you aren't comfortable with anything, or if i hurt you, just tell me," Kate says, softly, she's not the gentle type, but she is very gentle with Lena, that's what Lena really likes from her. Kate's lips brushing over Lena's from their proximity.  
  
Kate waits until Lena leans in, softly bringing their lips together over and over. They stand there, kissing softly, Lena waiting for Kate to be the one that takes the next step.  
  
Kate's tongue swipes over Lena's bottom lip, Kate finally letting herself indulge in their tongues moving against each other. Kate pulls away a little, using her teeth to capture Lena's bottom lip, Lena's eyes are darken, cheeks automatically flushed. Kate nibbles lightly on her bottom lip before she pulls back to take off her jacket, then she sits on the bed, push the Lena slowly until she lying on the top that single bed.  
  
Their eyes lock as Kate reaches under Lena's dress, Kate's touch is gentle, slow, taking the time to let her fingers gently dance over the skin of Lena's thigh.  
  
Kate moves Lena's hair to the side, leaving her neck completely exposed. She kisses just above her zipper as she takes it in her hands. She trails the zipper down slowly, kissing every inch of that exposed skin. The zipper stops just above Lena's ass, and Lena had to lift herself up a little so Kate could get her dress off her body.  
  
"God, you're so sexy," Kate says before she is pulled back into another kiss, a deeper kiss.  
  
With now Kate is lying on top of her, Lena's legs wrap around her waist, pulling her closer, Kate pressing Lena into the bed, killing the distance, as she licks and sucks across Lena's skin, taking the time to graze her teeth across her collar bone, then kisses lower, to the top of Lena's breast, she kisses her lightly, then sucking around Lena's nip, moving lower with soft swipes of her tongue. Lena sighs when Kate finally put her tongue over her nipple, circles it, building to quick flicks as it hardens in her mouth. Lena's fingers squeezed the sheet as Kate wildly played with the nipple, and she felt a very wet sensation inside her underwear, Lena tightened her legs on Kate's body as she drifted deeper into lust. Kate had touched her nips before, but not this way, as if she'd been holding back all this while.  
  
"Damn, that feels really good," Lena says, as Kate moves to the other breast, repeating the same thing.  
Kate moves back up to kiss her lips, tongue dipping into Lena's mouth, as her hands squeeze Lena's breast, pinching her nipple between her fingers as they kiss, a little too hard, but Lena secretly like it, Lena moans, she knows she can't hold it anymore, it feels too good..  
  
Kate moves lower, just like an expert, tongue dipping into Lena's belly button as she moves lower, moving down to her parted knees. Kate places a delicate kiss on the inside of Lena's knee, tongue trailing higher to Lena's thigh, Lena's breath hitches by the time Kate hooks her fingers in Lena's underwear. Lena lifts, letting Kate pull the lace green underwear down, and felt a little embarrassed when Kate stared into the open space, find out how wet it is.  
  
"You sure? Kate asks.  
  
"Yes..” Lena hisses.  
  
Kate moves forward, lifting Lena's leg to drape it over her shoulder, broad swipe of her tongue, from Lena's entrance to just below her clit, exploring as she goes. She moves down, tongue running through Lena's folds, wetness coating her chin, while her hand squeezed Lena's open breast, feeling the hard nipples on her fingers.  
"God, Kate, It feels so good," Lena says, her hand squeezed the bed sheet again, harder this time.  
  
Kate moves up to run her tongue over Lena's clit quickly, Lena bucks into her with each movement of Kate's tongue over her, and Kate picks up the pace, settling on quick circles, getting the best reaction from Lena with that movement.  
  
Kate sucks Lena’s clit into her mouth, Lena's hips bucking hard.  
  
"Please don't stop," Lena says just as Kate feels Lena legs getting firmer around her head.  
  
Kate runs her tongue again over Lena’s clit softly, Lena's chest is blushed, breasts moving up and down with her breaths, eyes totally closed, she finally opens her eyes to look at Kate and pulls Kate back to her to kiss her, tasting herself on Kate's lips.  
  
Kate took the opportunity to fiddle with her fingers down there, flirting into the already very wet slit, not knowing when the right time to thrust in, Kate hesitated.  
  
"Please, Babe, i need to feel you inside," Lena whispers.  
  
Kate slides her fingers through liquid heat, coating them as she runs from Lena's entrance to her clit. Kate slides one finger to her entrance, forehead touching Lena's, Lena close her eyes a little to tight when Kate slides her finger inside.  
  
Kate moves it slowly, in and out at a steady pace, making sure the woman below her is comfortable.  
  
"Did i hurt you?"  
  
Lena didn't answer, but shook her head quickly.  
  
Kate curls her finger inside, seeing the reaction immediately as she does.  
  
"Oh fuck, it feels damn good," Lena says, her fingers squeezed Kate's short hair.  
  
The youngest Luthor is the prettiest woman Kate has ever seen, and she's never feel so damn lucky. There is sweat between their foreheads, Lena kiss Kate's lips roughly as her hips move with each thrust.  
  
Then She comes, legs shaking, as Kate eases her through it, she move slowly to slides her fingers out of Lena, letting them rest on her thigh as they just stare at each other.  
  
"Thank you, Lee, you know, i feel so lucky.."  
  
Lena staring at her girlfriend, eyes focusing on Kate.  
  
"You're welcome.." Lena says as she pulls Kate close and kiss her again.  
  
The kisses get more heated, and the things repeated several times that night..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope i didn't disappointed you all with this chapter. i would make it very angst and dark start from this chapter.. be ready for it :)


	17. REALITY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We Were Together, I Forget The Rest  
>   
> -Walt Whitman-

After months being with Lena by her side, Alex just realized that this is the first time Alex and Lena out of the safe zone. Meeting old friends, they never consider it at all. The only thing in Alex's mind is waiting Kara to comeback, Alex know Kara will make it.. Kara is the only person they had a bond with, the only person Alex needed to make things clear between her and Lena.  
Alex needs Kara to tell Lena that she is Supergil, and she also needs to tell kara that she has madly fallen in love with her best friend. it all didn't feel right to go any further without considering Kara in it.  
  
But again, considering what happened today, things turned around so fast. Maggie walks her half drunk, to her empty apartment. Alex forgot the last time she have to slept alone. And felt so munch pain when she realize that she was so used to Lena's presence, at the same time she start knowing it might be too soon to feel this kind of emotion to Lena, when maybe she was just a substitute for her sister who was absent in the youngest Luthor's life.  
  
This whole situation would likely never have started if Kara hadn’t left.  
  
Lena Luthor wouldn't see Alex Danvers that way if there was Kara here.  
  
Maggie hugged her ex-fiancé before Alex closed the apartment door. Honestly she was really happy Alex could move on from their past because she really waiting for the time to comes when they can be friend again, she was very worried at first because she knew Alex was so fragile when it came to feelings.  
But she is a little concerned about what Alex is currently experiencing with Lena Luthor, never imagined in her mind Alex would being with Lena Luthor.  
  
Sam Arias, _yes.._  
  
The scenario Alex being with Sam quite played several times in Maggie's mind.  
  
For Maggie, she thinks Sam Arias was a perfect match to Alex. Lena Luthor was the last person she ever considered.  
  
"I want to chat again when you're normal. Okay?,” Asked Maggie, tilting her head to watch the red head, capture the look in the perfect side of Alex's face. Maggie loves how Alex is so soft but strong in the same place. Alex Danvers is very unique. She meets no one like Alex..  
And for Alex, Maggie's smile is cute and familiar, kicking out some memories, reminds Alex of the real world, reminds Alex of where she should be. That maybe she should stop building dreams with Lena before it hurst her more.  
  
She checked her phone one more time before going to wash her face in the bathroom. Still, she found no sign of Lena there. She checks the signal on her cellphone, hoping the network is down or her cellphone is damaged so that no messages coming from Lena. But the phone is fine. Maybe it's just Lena who wake up from a dream because of the presence of her _very rich and very hot _ex-lover.  
  
And it was three in the morning, when Alex felt her cell phone vibrate under her pillow. Incoming call from Lena. Alex jumped out of her sleep, sat upright in her bed. Staring at the name on her phone. Counting how many hours this woman didn't appears. Realized that she was really childish, felt ashamed of herself, felling hurt how much she loved this woman. Lena always send her text from time to time, even during important meetings. And she would let Alex know when she was too busy on something.  
And she just realized that she couldn't hear Lena's voice right now.  
  
_Lena Luthor : Just found my phone.  
  
_Really? A billionaire CEO doesn't hold her phone for hours.  
Imagine how many million dollars would be at stake. Lena even always checks her email when in the bathroom.  
  
Lena Luthor : Where are you? Sleep?  
  
Lena Luthor : Alex..  
  
Lena Luthor : Okay, i'm going to sleep right now. See you, tomorrow?  
  
Alex almost replied her text before another text arrived.  
  
Lena Luthor : Lunch tomorrow? Kate wants to meet you. Maybe you can ask Detective Sawyer to join.  
  
_And Alex throws her phone on the floor. Not strong enough to break it, but enough to avoid Lena tonight._____


	18. First Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between making eye contact and avoiding eye contact, they defined their love story.
> 
> -Anymouse-

_  
Hey sister, how are you? It's long enough for me to decide to reply to your message.  
I know this is ridiculous, but you were with me from the first time you came to earth, so texting and being in a very long distances relationship with you makes me feel a little sad.  
Don't worry, just a little sad, i'm totaly fine..  
But I did what you said, I take care of myself, I lost a little bit of weight because I rarely eat donuts lately, and I had to throw some expired food in my fridge because you didn't here to eat it all.  
Oh Kara, I miss you..  
I know you're home right now, but is it fair if I really miss to hug you? _  
  
Alex wanted to write _would it be fair if I wanted you to come back here?_ but she deleted the it because Alex is Alex and she never changes. The happiness of the person she cares about is above all else. she wouldn't selfishly ask Kara to come back just because she missed her sister so much.  
  
Alex reads the message one more time before giving it to Winn to translate it into kryptonian code, making sure Kara knows she miss her, but doesn't turn to make her worry.  
  
Winn is so sure that he saw tears in Alex's eyes right now but he knows Alex doesn't like to be pitied so he just embraced Alex and gave a support smile to his big sister.  
  
"Where have you been, Alex? It's been a while since we went to the bar after work. Want to go? Maybe tonight?"  
  
Winn's question makes Alex realize how long it has been since she's been out of the real world. Well, she didn't call Lena this morning, it feels weird, because they used to wake up in each other arms every morning, they didn't move in together, but almlst every night they always find a way to sleep together, wet kisses or long making love section, or just cuddling into each other, doing nothing.. And she also didn't reply to Lena's messages.  
  
She hated imagining what Lena was doing now. Work? Meeting? or meet his ex-girlfriend again.  
  
_Oh lunch .. yeah .._ they would going to have lunch together..  
  
And before she can put any emotions there, DEO's alarm is ON, level two dangers..  
  
Alex is happy she has some things to think about over the next few days, it doesn't mean that she loves the chaos, _it's not like that_  
But anti-alien club is mess up the city. Alex is constantly doing damage control, directing agents to the highest priority calls, and at the third day She did fieldwork, it's also easier to walk away from afterward, and develops a headache that seems to last for days, Winn is there with her, and she told winn that Maggie is in town and maybe after this is finish they can catch up and celebrate. She met Maggie on the street with the NCPD, feeling so familiar with that, feeling real, back to old times, don't know it's a good thing or not. She eats erratically, and sleeps in her office in small mattras on the floor, it feels normal and she kinda likes it.  
  
The fourth day everything get better and Alex was able to sleep a little longer. Being in the field is no longer needed, she just needs to compile a report and it can wait, and she falls asleep again on her desk, still in her tactical gear, messy hair, scars on her forehead, cheeks, and around her neck, not to mention aches and pains all over her body, but then again it feels normal, she is grateful she got the diversion. She miss Lena Luthor so much, and she was happy she didn't have to think about it. And what will happen after this can wait at least after she has a normal sleep.  
  
Alex had slept for two hours in her office and that's where Lena found her. Lena called her no less than thirty times in the past four days before deciding to come to DEO. Winn was very enthusiastic when she saw Lena's coming. it's usually Lena only comes when DEO calls. Today Lena wore a tight short black dress and with ponytail, she was very hot without trying hard to be.  
And from the confused look of Winn she knows that Winn doesn't know about her and Alex. _Yeah_ of course Winn knows she and Alex are friends, but looking for Alex to the DEO and bringing lunch box on her right hand instead of thousand dollar pouch is a new thing, but then again entering Alex's office is prohibited.  
  
No one is allowed to enter Alex's room other than if Alex asks, including Maggie, Maggie is having a free pass to the DEO because of the past relationship but she still needs special permission to enter his ex-fiance's office and Maggie is standing next to Winn when Lena insists on meeting Alex, Winn have to made several agents finally willing to pave the way for Lena to the Director's room at last.  
  
"Alex."  
  
"Mmmm."  
  
"Alexandra Danvers."  
  
"Emergency Only." Alex says, cracking open one eye. Suddenly it registers who she's talking to, and both eyes fly open in shock.  
  
"Why are you here?" Alex looked at the woman who was standing in front of her, bossy look, CEO mode on. Lena seems dissatisfied with Alex's reaction on her, especially considering Alex has not contacted her or responded to her calls for several days for whatever the reasons.  
But seeing the wounds on Alex's face almost made her melt and forgot her first purpose to come here to confront Alex.  
  
"Being with your ex-fiancé for a few days made you forget me?" asked Lena, one eyebrow raised, clearly challenging Alex.  
  
"Are you talking about yourself? "Alex replied, curtly. Things that Lena didn't expect. The Director was always gentle with her.  
  
Lena blinks, and pulls one of the chairs to sit down near to the Director. Lena tried hard not to jump into Alex's lap and touch the scar on Alex's face with her lips.  
  
"You didn't call." Lena said, frowned, annoyed to find her tone softening on this woman.  
  
"My phone died days ago. And I didn't felt the need to call since you've had friends over lunch, or maybe dinner, or maybe--"  
  
"Alex. What this is all about??" Lena stood up from her seat, arms folded in her hands, she really look angry.  
  
Alex groans. "I think I'd rather sleep."  
  
Lena hates rejection and Alex's attitude to her is a clearly a rejection.  
  
"Why are you mad at me?"  
  
"Who said that i'm mad at you?"  
  
Lena felt so lost in this conversation and not sure if she would going on this. Maybe Alex is lack of sleep, her eyes were red and her bags were clearly visible. Or maybe Alex is upset about her work, yes she work hard this view days, Lena saw it on TV, or maybe Alex is so tired, or whatever. And... maybe she should leave Alex to sleep alone and rest and wait a little more time until things get better by itselves.  
  
_is this a fight?_  
  
Of course, every relationship has a fight, but why is fighting with Alex feels so weird? Alex has always been super patient with her in every condition.  
  
Lena stepped closer and taking her right hand into her own, looking at the bloody knuckles, eyes focus on that Agent's hand.  
  
"That doesn’t look good." She said before Alex basically ripped her hand out of Lena’s grip.  
  
"Yeah i know." Alex replied turning away from Lena who couldn’t hide the expression of hurt that crossed over her face.  
  
"Did I do something or are you mad at me for no reason? Or its just simply as you going sick of me and leave like your sister?"  
  
"I heard a Luthor doesn't need a lot of people by her side. And considering you were so welcome to your ex-girfriend till you forgot when your phone is missing, i thought you don't need me anymore and that's obvious."  
  
Lena wanted to yell and shake this Agent's shoulder but she saw a hint of despair in Alex's voice and she felt a little guilty about it when she found out what this is all about.  
  
"So, this is all about Kate. Are you jealous?" Lena asked carefully, because again, this is new to her. She didn't know this side of Alex, and she really wanted to know her, she really want to works it all, between she and Alex.  
  
And Alex laughs, wet and mirthless. "Lena, i didn't call it jealous."  
  
"I am a soldier, also a scientist, I calculated everything, i didn't fight to win when i'm already lost." Alex said, avoiding Lena’s gaze.  
  
"Alex. No. I don't want this to be like this, okay? You were mad at me, and we can fix it."  
  
"So can you explain to me why your ex-girlfriend came to you and wanted to talk private just you and her then you disappeared for half a day without touching your phone?"  
  
Lena bit her lip. She knew she couldn't tell Alex because she had promised Kate. And she believes in her feelings for Alex so that this Kate's thing do nothing about her relationship with Alex.  
  
"I can't talk to you about it. It’s _work_ thing, Alex..” said Lena and suddenly she regretted it. She should have chosen a better answer when she noticed Alex's hurt expression.  
  
"Then it's done, _Lee.._ i'm not doing this." Alex said quietly, no angry tone in her voice right now, no intimidation. Alex was very calm when she said it. As if she was used to this kind of conversation.  
  
"Alex, going home with me, we can talk it over, okay?" Lena took Alex's hand again, softer this time.  
  
"No, i'll going home tonight. My own home. I have my own apartment. You should go."  
Alex pulled her hand away from Lena, standing walking towards the door of her office. Lena realized that her legs were shaking as she walked to the exit door. Her eyes met Alex's as they stood stiffly at the door.  
  
Alex stared into those familiar green eyes, and there was no doubt of the sadness in them. Worry, doubt, and fear, were not too far off. _Tik Tok.._ She just can't believe this is happening.  
  
"I told you to take time before you saying anything to me and this is all about. I know she's still here, and would stay for a while, Maggie told me. You can meet her any time for your private business, no hard feelings... If you need friend, you know where to find me. but I know you're not the type who like to make friends. Believe me, _Lena.._ there's no point you're here. I am a nobody. I'm just a Government Agent who gets a paycheck everymonth."  
  
Alex opened the door wider this time. And Lena knows it's time for her to leave. She felt numb and had difficulty holding her tears from falling. But she still had to walk several hundred meters before she got to her car.  
Even now she has to face Winn who smiled sweetly at her and ask her to catch up with her at the Alien bar tonight. Lena couldn't hide her tears when Maggie looked at her. She knows this woman.. She knows how broke Alex is when she broke up with Maggie, and realizing that Maggie Sawyer fits Alex Danvers better than herself is hurt her so badly.  
  
She left winn who stared at Maggie confusedly...  
  
And she cried when she got into her car. She hated how Alex never made her cry. And the first time she did was when it’s over. She's not ready yet for this.  
  
Alex Danvers has made her too happy...


	19. The past is the past..

"What, Lena? i just don't understand ! " Sam's voice is full of confusion. She can imagine Sam's expressions across the island. She's been friends with Sam long enough to know inside outside about this woman. A different friendship with Kara, but Sam is one of the people she loves, and also loves her back, without considering any aspect of life, Sam and Rubby are like family.  
  
"And the idea Alex Danvers is a coward is bullshit.. for the God's sake Lena. She's the Director of the DEO. She's protecting Earth, she doesn't have any superpower but she stand in the first line when the world need her.. come on _darling.. _”  
  
Lena massaged her forehead. She should have known what her best friend was going to say. Undeniably her best friend is one of Alex Danvers' admirers.  
  
"She kicked me out of her office, Sammy. Just one day after she told me she wanted to have a family with me. And I had to walk past her ex-fiancée. Can you consider it from my side?" Lena sounds very frustrating and she's not going to hide it.  
  
"You ignored her for your ex-girlfriend, who is a very hot woman. Gosh, Kate Kane, i read about her." Lena's getting more frustrated. She doesn't see that Sam can help her get out of this. Lena never talked about her relationship with anyone.  
_But this is Alex.. _  
Alex is very special to her. And she felt she needed someone's advice to fix things with Alex. It's been a few days since last she saw Alex, and she's starting to miss her half-dead. Working in a lab for Kate's secret project wasn't enough to distract her mind from Alex.  
  
"And what? She talk about having family with you?" Samantha Arias sounds serious right now.  
  
"She did. Indirectly."  
  
"Lena.. that's sweet." Sam sighs.  
  
"She mentioned it a few times while we were in a small talk. About a family. About having kids."  
  
"God, Lena, _darling_.. it's awesome.. "  
  
Lena massages her forehead again. "Sammy, it's not awesome. She's broke up with me. Or whatever it called. She's never ask me to be her girl friend so i thought it's not a broke up. But the point is, now she's kicking me out of her life," Lena sounds desperate, _and sad.._.  
  
"Lena Kieran Luthor, You want a serious advice from a mother of one child?" Sam hisses from across.  
  
Lena sips a glass of wine in her left hand, it's to early for wine but she really needs it. "I've wanted that ever since, Samantha Arias."  
  
Sam chuckles before start talking. "Listen, Alex Danvers is a person who is full of insecurity about feelings, I am really sure about that, she talks a lot to me about Maggie. About her childhood, how she lost some of the people she loved. And trust me, her past relationship was the culmination of her destruction."  
  
"She talked to you?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"She didn't talk to me." Lena almost cried, and she don't know why. But she focused on playing an empty glass in her hand, because she really didn't want to cry right now.  
  
"She didn't tell me that kind of things. She didn't talk about her ex either. She doesn't like who you're all talking about."  
  
"You all?,"  
  
"Yes, Kara talks about Alex, and i still remember some of it, Kara told me that Maggie and Alex go to concert, they play pool, go to yoga, they always joke around, they bet on anything even just for a cup of ice cream, and that sounds fun.."  
  
Lena's voice sounds weak, sad, and desperate, and Sam start to realizes it. "Darling, Lena, I've told you about the insecurity. You're not Maggie Sawyer, You're Lena Luthor, You can't make it the same."  
  
"Maggie is a better partner than me. Maybe their problem is just about having kids, And maybe they can talk about it and solved the problem."  
  
"Lena, stops.. the past is the past. Alex loves you."  
  
"Maybe she was wrong."  
  
"She's not. You have to trust me, okay?." Sam emphasizes the last sentence.  
  
"Why are you so sure?" Lena's been sipping her third glass right now. She's almost done with this conversation.  
  
"Because she talked to Ruby."  
  
"She did? What?”  
  
"Yeah.. It's a little embarrassing for me."  
  
"What happen? You didn't tell me." Lena puts her glass on the table, this topic awakens her energy.  
  
Sam being silent for a moments before Lena asked her again.  
  
"Okay, i told Ruby about Alex is dating you, and i'm really happy about it. And Ruby's a little disappointed. You know Ruby, she always wishes I'd ended up with Alex. Children do have dreams, i am so sorry for Ruby. I hope you don't mind."  
  
"Oh poor Ruby, she definitely hate me right now."  
  
"Trust me she didn't. Alex talked to her. She's happy for you right now. And she's so excited to come to your wedding."  
  
"What? what wedding?,"  
  
"Ask your girlfriend then, it's nothing to do with my cool daughter. Alex told her she's going to marry you one day. Of course waiting for Kara to come back, cause It feels wrong if she did it without Kara, Kara is your best friend."  
  
"Alex talk to Ruby, she's going to--- marry me?," Lena ask sheepishly.  
  
"For sure. Do you think Alex Danvers is going to lie to a kid?"  
  
And with that Lena didn't wait too long to turn off the phone. Didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Sam.  
She pressed the speed dial on her phone to call Alex, for several times, before her call went straight to the voicemail.  
  
Lena is almost desperate and almost decides to go to the DEO again. But the last incident embarrassed her a little, and finally she decided to call Winn.  
  
"Lena? What do i owe the pleasure?" Winn's cheerful voice sounds familiar to her but right now she have no time for that.  
  
"Hmm, Winn, sorry for disrupt your working hours. But i'm looking for Alex. It's the matter of life and death." Lena lies, and Winn seems very surprised across there.  
  
"What happen?? Can i help?"  
  
"Let me talk to Alex, because i can't reach her on call."  
  
"Of course you can't. She's out for a mission. You definitely can reach her by phone." Winn hisses.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Okay, it's a secret.. i can't tell you, but i will. Because you're my best friend, and it's a matter life or death." Winn's voice almost sounds smaller than a whisper. "Alex is go to Earth one, then she have to travel through another timeline to find something. But i can't tell you what the thing is."  
  
"Oh, when she come back?," a crack in Lena's voice, and also her heart, she wished Winn didn't notice it.  
  
"When the mission is clear."  
  
"And when the mission is clear?"  
  
"I dunno.." Winn hisses again. "But i can contact her with DEO thing. I would let her know if you call, okay?"  
  
Lena nodded even though she knew Winn couldn't see her.  
  
And she was devastated. She can't even tell Alex she misses her so much. And she couldn't catch up with Alex with her helicopter, even her private jet, because Alex went too far.  
  
And she's feels really sorry she hasn't even had time to say _i love you _to Alex. it doesn't mean she won't say it or don't want to say it. But to be honest she wasn't sure, Alex and her is a new thing, and Alex has overturning her world. Now she just know that she's very addicted to Alex Danvers, she's dying to see her again and being in her arms again is the best thing she want to do right now.  
  
And if it's not love, _so what is it?_______


	20. Endgame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I close my eyes as i walk  
>  The thin line between love and hate,  
> For the person with the same blood in her veins.  
> You show no regret,  
> About all the things you did or said,  
> I have failed you, but believe me..  
> You failed me too...  
>   
> -anonymous-_

It's been the third day since Lena called Winn. She's almost crazy for missing Alex. She hasn't heard anything from Alex or Winn.  
And Lena calls Sam almost every day. Sam almost bring her self and flies to National City because she's worried about Lena.  
But eventually Lena convinced her she was okay, and told Sam that she would work on getting the job done with Kate.  
And focus on her thing with Alex when Alex comes home.  
Sam threatens her that she will take Alex away from Lena if Lena doesn't do something to Alex as soon as possible, which is Lena know it's just a joke.  
  
Lena convinced herself she was okay with Alex and everything will be back to normal when Alex come back later. And day after days she's more confident in her feelings for Kara's older sister. She's gonna tell Alex everything.  
And it makes her smile when she imagines how Alex is talking to Ruby about the marriage thing. Lena never planned to get married at such a young age, but the thought of marrying Alex Danvers makes her heart pound a little.  
  
"I thought you were having a fight with your girlfriend." Kate's voice breaks her daydreams, making Lena re-focus with her microscope.  
  
"From the smile on your face, I think you've fix the things, don't you?" Lena turned around still with a little smile on her face, staring at Kate who was standing behind her. Her first love in high school. Lena is a genius, however she knows Kate's arrival here isn't just to ask for her help to upgrade her vigilante costume. On several occasions Kate has always teased her, still within reasonable limits. Because Lena can feel Kate having much respect the older Danvers.  
  
"You know, it's Alex Danvers. If that's not Kara's sister. Maybe I've lifted you up on the table and made you remember how good was in the past." Kate talks with a grin on her face.  
  
"No, you won't."  
  
"Challenge me, _Lee.._ "  
  
Lena chuckles. "You know i won't."  
  
Lena took off her gloves and put her lab coat on the table. Just looking at her lab coat reminds her of Alex, and she smile again.  
  
"So, you really in love with Alex Danvers? I always think that you will marry a man someday."  
  
"How long you know Alex?," Lena asking back.  
  
"Not to long. We work together. She's good, and brave. She's one of a kind. She also had an affair with Sara Lance." Kate winked. If Lena doesn't fall in love with Alex, maybe she can fall in love again with Kate, like old times. Mature Kate looks breathtaking. She still looks really attractive even in casual clothes. A black shirt with a white v-neck inside rolled up to the elbow of her hand, making the tattoo on her arm clearly visible. Kate's been having tattoos since high school and she already talks about it with Lena from long time ago.  
  
"I've heard it from Kara.. I bet that woman is awesome."  
  
"Incredible. I'll kill to sleep with her."  
  
"So why don't you just try? I bet you don't have to kill anyone for that."  
  
"Or maybe i should.. Sara told me if she has to end up with a person from different earth, that person should be Alex Danvers. Your girlfriend is coming out less than three years and she got all the beautiful girl in the universe." Kate shrugs her shoulders and gives Lena a silly smile.  
  
"That's My Alex.." That words just came out of Lena's lips without her noticing. She's certainly not one to open up about feeling. But Alex Danvers is so different, she feels safe with Alex. she feels comfortable. How someone as gentle as Alex Danvers could hurt her. Lena feels Alex is the person she's dreamed of all her life and she never expected the dream to come true.  
  
And with that Lena pulled Kate's hand and pushed her into her perfect Batwoman suit. Lena presented her genius work so well and Kate get more than what she ever want. She's not going to take Kate's money for the suit, but Kate insists to pay, of course, because she can afford it, so Lena told Kate to donate all the money to the hospital of L-Corp's name, for children in National city.  
  
The sadness on Kate's face was clear, when she realized her time was over with Lena. Lena can see it clearly. Honestly this isn't what she expected from a reunion with Lena Luthor. She's been reading articles after articles about Lena, seeing Lena on television, and her little heart has always loved this woman.  
  
And when Lena seeing that face, old memories kicking. Kate was once an important person in her young age. Kate is part of who she is now. And Lena feels a little sad. She feels guilty about how Lillian treated them. They should at least be friends. And what Kate went through wasn't easy either. Kate's had a bad time in her life, Kate lost her family, she's alone, and they could have been best friends at the right time, and it could possibly be more, if there is no Alex Danvers in Lena's life.  
  
Now they're in Lena's office to sign some paperwork for Kate's suit. And realizing Kate didn't seem excited, Lena gave her a very sweet smile. Her first sweet smile for her ex-girlfriend, and she was so sincere about it. "You don't have to go right now. We can have dinner. Small celebration."  
  
"Celebration for what?" her eyes is full of admiration when she saw Lena standing in front of her with arms in her chest. Kate still remembers the fragile young Lena Luthor, in a high school T-shirt, nerd Lena Luthor, the pretty genius. Lena Luthor who is now growing into a very perfect woman. And maybe she's the most perfect woman in the universe.  
  
"I am proud of you, Kate."  
  
"You proud of me?."  
  
"Of course i am." Lena smile again and Kate swears she misses this woman so much and will miss her even more in the future.  
  
"You're success and you take very good care of Gotham."  
  
Kate blinked shyly at Lena. "So now I deserve dinner, or are we just going to delivery and you're going to open that expensive scotch in your closet and drink with me?" she asked while looking in the closet next to Lena's desk.  
  
"Of course i will." Lena answered while picking up the phone and contacted jess to order their dinner.  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
They finish dinner at eight o'clock, and spent a bottle of scotch within two hours, quite slowly. Because they talk about a lot things in the past. Lena and Kate were in an awkward situation for days, and tonight it all felt lighter. They're sitting on Lena's couch. Kate was in the left corner, and Lena was in another corner at first. After half a second bottle they start sitting next to each other. Kate began to rest her head on Lena's shoulders and their legs were raised to the table.  
  
"So it's Jenny two months after i left." Lena raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyeballs.  
  
Kate nods, her face blushing. "Then Amelia for the next month. And Shoppie for the month after."  
  
"Okay. So you're moving from one woman to another in no time." Lena turned her head to find Kate leaning over her shoulders, one hand holding a glass, and another hand playing a floral motif in a tight Lena dress just above her thighs.  
  
"I bet you must have been cheated on me. I'm too dumb to know. I even gave you my virginity."  
  
Kate raises her head and pretends to be shocked, then pretends to be hurt, _or she does get hurt_. She doesn't know either because she's getting too drunk.  
  
"I swear, i never cheat on you. I really loved you back then _-even now i still-_. I imagine going to college with you even though I'm not as genius as you are, maybe I should working hard and i'm ready for that." that words sounds serious, sounds real. It's as if Kate really felt it, her eyes darken.  
  
And that's when the faces of the two get too close. Lena's lips are only a few inches from her lips, red and wet. And Kate still remembers the taste of those lips, sweet as honey. Kate just blamed her scotch as she held Lena's neck in her hand and started pressing that red lips, pulled her in for a long kiss. Lena's eyes went wide, and Kate just smiled.  
  
"Hmm.. you taste exactly how i remember you."  
  
Lena was stunned for a moment that her ex had just kissed her. And she just froze when Kate stuck her lips back in, braver this time. When Kate started tucking her tongue in the slit of Lena lips, she just give in, whether Lena really wanted it too or she was too drunk to ignore it, and to be honest his body started to feel hot because of the scotch.  
  
It takes a little bit long for them to find their rhythm, mouths not fitting together the way hers would with Alex's. Lena has long been accustomed to Alex's sweet and patient kisses. Kate insistent with her hands and mouth, taking control like Alex always did.  
  
Kate pulls away, breath hitches, she then kissing Lena's neck as she trails her hands down to the the bottom of Lena's dress. Kate pulls the dress up, Lena lifting so that the dress bunches above her hips. She can’t stop her self about thinking of Alex in this moment. Imagine Alex taking her dress off slowly, trailing kisses down exposed skin, Alex always telling Lena how beautiful she is between every kisses. She almost pushed Kate away when she stopped and looked her in the eye, and she saw a sign of tears there. They paused and looked at each other for a moment. Before Kate kissed her again.  
  
it was too late to back off because Lena realized Kate's sturdy finger was already on her chest, squeezing the tender flesh from outside her dress.  
  
Both of them were surprised by the door that was slammed so hard. Lena couldn't see clearly because everything happened so fast. And her legs are too weak to get up, but she get up anyway, releasing her self from Kate who is not fully conscious, she drank more than Lena tonight, Lena almost fell in her high hells when she trying to catch up with Alex. And she doesn't care about the pain on her leg, she saw Alex's shadow in the hallway of her office.  
  
"Alex.." she screams. Nobody's there because it's too late. But Alex didn't turn around, Lena trying so desperately to reach her and Alex stops right in front of the elevator, not because she wants to, but she just lost all her energy right know, she felt too weak to run again.  
  
She's been running her whole life and maybe now she doesn't have to run anymore. She just got back from her mission and Winn told her that Lena's been looking for her for a few days now and that makes her happy. She misses this woman more than she should have felt and the first thing she did after coming back from Earth One was run to L-Corp, she knew Lena was still here because it is weekday.  
  
Lena's surprised when she found Alex at the end of the hall, in front of the elevator. The tears on her face are furious, angry where she leans against the elevator door, eyes closed. Holding a very familiar teddy bear in her right hand.  
  
"Give me a minute, I'll leave.." Alex's eyes slowly opening, but her eyes were blurred because of the tears.  
  
"Alex.. please.." Lena asks.. her voice cracked. Lena is ashamed of herself. She didn't get a chance to look in the mirror. Her face must be a mess, and look at her bruised lips, making Alex's heart hurt tremendously.  
  
"It's okay.. i just need a moment to process it. i'm glad it's clear now.."  
  
"I swear Alex, it's not like that."  
  
" _Lee../ _," Alex sighs, no more angry on her face, only pain left. Her eye bags are black and her face looks tired. of course, she's tired, _really tired of everything_.. she reached her limit today, thinking of the moments with Lena the last few months made her heart bleed.  
  
"Alex, i'm sorry. I love you. It's not like that.." Lena started to panic, panic attacked. She hasn't been in this feeling for a long time, therapy helps. But then this feeling came up again. She's scared to death. She can't imagine Alex leaving her forever this time. She's start to cry.  
  
"Kara is Supergirl." Alex says.  
  
"I lie to you all this time. Whatever my reasons, I lied to you."  
  
Lena couldn't believe what she was hearing. Maybe she's not too surprised, she's been thinking of it for several times, especially since the disappearance of Kara and Supergirl at the same time. But hearing Alex tell her in this situation just shook her up.  
  
Alex steps closer and wiped away tears on Lena's face with her thumb. "But my feelings for you is real. You deserve to be happy."  
  
"I'm sorry, Lee..." Lena almost loses her consciousness when she realizes Alex's gaze has moved to the back, she don't know since when Kate's standing behind them, saying nothing, extremely drunk, her hands hold Lena's waist, keeping her from falling.  
  
"It's yours. It's not a prototype. it smells like you." Her eyes is completely blur when Alex opened her fingers to receive the Teddy Bear that she misses so much.  
  
But she could still see Alex smiling sadly, wiping her tears, before disappearing from behind the elevator door.__


	21. The end of the start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _if you really love that person,  
>  learn to wait.  
> Maybe you are not meant to be together for today,  
> but meant to be in the future..  
> -anonymouse-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, this is the last chapter. i hope I didn't disappoint you guys...

It’s three in the morning when Lena heard the bell in her penthouse ringing. No one would come at this hour except Alex, and Alex is the last person who might show up at her penthouse, Alex hates her, she lose Alex forever, no doubt about it. Alex blocked all Lena's access to her, Lena was never able to contact her again, Lena can't even come to DEO anymore.  
  
It's been a month since the incident that night. And Lena hasn't been able to sleep well. Her mother's teddy bear accompanies her every night in her loneliness, she doesn't know how or where Alex got the teddy bear, but Lena believes it's not a prototype. And why is Alex ringing the bell? She clearly knows Lena's door passcode.  
  
"Hey Princess, are you sleeping?." she can hear Alex mumbles into the receiver, and her eyes began to sting just by hearing the voice.  
  
"Yeah, is everything alright?” Lena asks, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She's been falling asleep, though is not too well.  
  
"Open your door." Alex says, Lena surprised.  
  
"Did you already forgive me?" That's all she can say, still on her receiver.  
  
"Please, just open it. I don't have much time.." there is no arrogance in her voice, only a deep pain in it.  
  
Lena sigh as she slips out of the comfort of her bed, feet padding over to the front door, honestly her legs shaking, and she's not sure this is reality or it's just a dream, because she always dream about Alex lately. And when she does open it, no one is there. She’s confused, angry, yet broken and she's about to make sure Alex knows that too, when she spots a little box on the floor.  
  
Inside rests a gold ring, very sweet and unique, it's not expensive, but one of a kind, Alex had it specially made.  
  
Lena's breath is stuck in her throat. "It's lovely."  
  
There was a silent before Lena heard Alex's coughing, this time Alex's voice was heard from the receiver next to the door.  
  
She knows Alex wants to say something. She needs Alex to say something. But she's too scared for that. The last thing happen really destroyed her inside and out.  
  
"Last time I didn't talk much to Maggie. And I regret it."  
  
"Where are you? from where are you talking?," Lena hisses to the receiver, she wants to add - _i need to see you_ , but after everything happen, she just can't say that.  
  
"I hack your receiver."  
  
" _Lee.._.. i am sorry for lying to you for years, i'm sorry for my sister too, but I'm not lying, we really love you, and we're tired of lying to you.. And I fell in love the day we were together." Lena heard Alex take a breath, maybe Alex was crying, quite possibly..  
  
"When I first realized I was falling in love with you, and it’s going deeper, I was getting scared. I know our relationship didn't start well, bad things happened, and we lied to each other, _Supergirl thing, Reign thing_ , and about what happened between you and Kate Kane. But none of that diminishes my feelings for you. I love you with every blood running through my body. Seeing you and Kate make me want to die, worse than when Maggie left."  
  
"And realized that Kate told you about her secret in the first place which i learn it from Maggie, made me realize that she's so much better than me. You both have memories and I'm only a small part of your life. But i really really love you Lena Kieran Luthor."  
  
"The day I went back in past time for your teddy bear. I saw little Lena who fell asleep alone in her bedroom. I kissed her forehead and that's when I realized I love you so much and I really wanted you to be happy. I was the wrong person. And I'm leaving."  
  
"Where are you going?," Lena asked. her voice cracked.  
  
"Earth one. For a long time maybe.. I'll working on something there. John would take the lead again in DEO. I can't be in the same world as you where we can't be together, where our relationship is completely broken from the start."  
  
"Alex.. i--"  
  
"Lee, i hope we didn't hurt each other too bad and we can fix it someday." Alex whispers, voice tinged with a bit of regret.  
  
"So, you can't forgive me and maybe we can start all over again?"  
  
"I don't know, but I haven't been able to forget what I saw. And i'm lying to you for years."  
  
"I forgive you for that. And thank you for loving me, Alex.. "  
  
And Lena start crying so hard..  
  
"Good bye, _Lee.._ "  
  
"So, it's not a proposal ring, huh?," Lena asked again, hands holding that ring, shaking..  
  
"That's proposal ring which turn to become a gift from a friend."  
  
Lena close her eyes and tears falling again on her cheek. Imagining how close she is to the eternal happiness makes her heart broken to pieces.  
  
"So, we're friend now?," Lena hisses and trying so hard to stop the tears from falling because her eyes start to hurt so bad.  
  
"Do you want to be my friend?"  
  
"Of course, Alex Danvers.. and i'm gonna miss you.."  
  
"Me too, Lee.. please take care of your self.."  
  
"I will..."  
  
"Alex..?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Can i at least get a hug?"  
  
Alex chuckles. "I don't know. it sounds like a trap. Maybe next time?"  
  
"Okay.. maybe next time..”  
  
"Goodbye, Lena..”  
  
"Goodbye, Alex..."


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nobody wants that sad ending.. so i'm working on one more chapter to make a better ending. i hope i didn't disappointed you all :)

One year Later...  
  
  
"How's your day, _baby_?" The way Alex Danvers call her with a pet name, is beyond just _cute_ , and Lena swear to her self she would keep this woman for the rest of her life, and she don't wanna lose Alex, ever again.  
Alex didn't even move when Lena crawls across the bed to settle her self into Alex's chest, she just lifts her arms allowing Lena to settle on her and wraps her arms around the green-eyes woman.  
  
Alex moved a little to kiss the top of her head and hug her even tighter, Lena could hear her heartbeat, so close and it calm her down, she's absolutely in peace. The best of place she ever have for the rest of her life.  
  
Alex continues to scroll through her phone, email after email, make sure she didn’t miss any important thing, while Lena listens to the heartbeat beneath her, the steady drum soothing and relaxing every muscle in her body, closing her eyes even though she didn’t feel sleepy at all.  
  
Alex and Lena spent most of the day working around the house on separated projects.  
  
Lena still working on her biggest project to cure Cancer, and Alex working on new protocol at DEO, they still working hard to fill the absence of Supergirl.  
  
Alex still misses her sister so much, without being able to ask anything from Kara. She have Lena by her side right now, but it will never be the same without Kara. But she knows Kara would be back someday and she'll just wait for the moment to come. Alex telling everything to Kara, through the message from earth to Argo, the changes that happen between her and Lena, the good and also the bad things. At first, Kara is very surprised, but at the end that’s become the best new she ever had, knowing that her sister and her best friend now taking care of each other.  
  
“Working on computer for hours, my back is getting sore,” Lena answers, eyes still closed.  
  
“Poor baby, c’mere.” Alex put her phone down to the bed, turning Lena’s body so now Alex facing her back, giving a little massage to the woman she love the most.  
  
“Hmm.. feels so good, babe”  
  
“Tell me where it hurts.” Hands still massaging, Lips on her lover’s neck, hairs, finally on her cheek, put a light kiss on it.  
  
“God, you smell so good.”  
  
“More than your Lena Luthor on earth-1?” Lena turn around to face Alex, on eyebrow reaised.  
  
“Hmm.. yes..”  
  
Then Lena lifted herself with the help of the hold she had on Alex’s shirt.  
  
“Did she kiss you like this?” Lena give her a proper kiss, so quickly that Alex can’t help but lean forward for more kisses, but Lena’s lips were already out her reach.  
  
“Or maybe.” Lena continued, “Like this?” Now the kiss is getting feral, Alex can feel her heartbeat accelerating.  
  
Alex try to be serious because she have a really important thing to tell Lena, but the way the younger girl is gripping onto her made it difficult.  
  
“Baby..” Alex gasped once she trying to pull her mouth away from Lena. But the younger woman looked at Alex right to her eyes and she bite her lips. Alex groaned watching her. “Don’t do that..”  
  
“You don’t have to try to be sexy because you already is.. And i wanna be with you, not her, and now i’m home..”  
  
“But you date her for months. It feels weird, you dated _my twins_. I haven't ask you the details.”  
  
“I told you that i’ll tell you everything. You just need to ask.”  
  
“Everyhing, _Lee.._ ” Alex repeat.  
  
“So, what makes you comeback? She’s better than me, she didn’t _cheat_ on you. You two have a good start, it sounds perfect.” Lena asked even though she honestly afraid of the answer.  
  
“That’s a long story.”  
  
“Is it a dirty one?,” she asks, raised her eyebrow.  
  
Lena swears the way Alex grins make her a little upset.  
  
“I really sure that you don’t wanna hear the dirty part”  
  
Lena pretended to push her away but Alex Danvers is much stronger than her, she already hugging her lover tightly and don’t want to let her go.  
  
“I don’t wanna fight, okay? Because tomorrow is Saturday, and we have an important dinner to arrange.”  
  
“What dinner? I’m tired, can we just take a delivery? I wanna spending the time to on you—“  
  
“I’m afraid not.” Alex now on her top, looking at the green eyes she miss everyday when she was on another world, with right hand playing with that hair, she’s done trying everything to forget her feeling to this women, but she just can’t.  
  
“What do you mean? Do you have a plan?”  
  
“Hmm..” Alex nodded.  
  
"Ohh.. making plan without asking me, Director?," Lena raise an eyebrow, encircling her arms around Alex's neck.  
  
"Because i'm not sure you want it, but i need to do it."  
  
"So, what it is? Am I going to have a heart attack?"  
  
"I'm want to make you my wife," Alex says, she almost shouts it, at least that's how it feels, all real and deep when it come out. She wants to ask Lena to marry her since the first time she coming back to this earth and seeing Lena wearing the ring she gave. But its like the words are burning in her throat every time she wants to say it, part of it is fear of rejection.  
  
And it shakes the space between them, Alex's whole body are trembling and Lena gasp in shock.  
  
"I have it for a while," she adds, quieter. "After everything happen, i am not really sure that i deserve you, and--"  
  
"Alex..."  
  
"No, Lee, let me finish."  
  
"I left you here so you have the chance to find someone new, or coming back to the people from your past. I left because I don't want to burden you or making it hard for you," Alex says, and Lena can see the pain in the Director's eyes when she say it.  
  
"And i dated someone's else, but i can't love her the way i love you, so i come back again and trying to pursue my luck on you."  
  
"Alex, are you sure?," Lena gasps.  
  
"I love you, Lee.. I never wanted anything else this much."  
  
"But i _cheated_ on you.."  
  
Alex shakes her head. "No, that's my fault. I'm not taking a good care of you."  
  
And with that, tears feel down Lena's face. strangely, she wasn't crying but tears were falling down.  
  
"So, Lee.. would you marry me?," Alex questioned once more.  
  
"Because when you say yes, you have to deal with me forever, i'm normal, middle-class working woman, who can only force two holidays in a year, to _normal_ destination, with our children. It would not be fancy, but I promise it would be fun. You and our children will never feel unloved and unwanted, and I'll let them sleep with their teddy bears until they get bored, and I'll take care of you from morning till night and won't let anyone hurt you even though I'm not as strong as Supergirl."  
  
"I'm going to eat kale with you for the rest of my life, and you're going to eat fast food with me, _a lot_ without having to be afraid of getting fat because I'll still love you for who you are. And--"  
  
Lena cuts it with a kiss, she kissing Alex senseless, exploring the warm depths of her mouth, until both of them run out of breath, and Alex pull off, before she start to strips off the rest of Lena's clothes.  
  
"So i take it as a yes." Alex grins.  
  
"Yes i want to, having kids with you.." Lena hisses.  
  
"And you'll take us to holiday in a van?"  
  
Alex smiles. "Twice a year."  
  
"Or a short escape for every weekend." she added.  
  
"I like beach."  
  
"I'll take you to Midvale then."  
  
"I never go to Disneyland."  
  
"I'll take you there."  
  
"Our kids would probably have a hard time in school because their mother is a Luthor."  
  
"And the other mother is Director of the DEO, and their aunty is Supergirl, their grandfather is the last Martian, who wants to mess up with my kids?."  
  
And Lena felt a storm strike her heart, a storm of a warm affection, full of miracles, never in her life did she feel complete, and so perfect.  
  
"So, you would marry me tomorrow?." Lena asks, still can't believe what just happened.  
  
"Of course not." Alex laughed.  
  
Alex slams her back into that soft bed, eyes staring into the ceiling.  
  
"So, what happen tomorrow, Alex?,"  
  
"We going to have dinner with your mother."  
  
"My-- _my mother?_ "  
  
"Yes.."  
  
"Lilian?,"  
  
"Yes, with my Mom, she's on morning flight tomorrow."  
  
"But how can--you? Lilian is in jail.."  
  
Alex looked at Lena in the eyes, deeply. She knew this woman was starting to worry, and panicked, whenever she heard the Luthor's name, so she rubs her thumb on Lena's cheeks, to calm her lover down.  
  
"Lee.. i risk my life everyday to protect the world. Of course I could pursue one dinner with my lover's mother. I want to marry you, and i wanna do it right."  
  
Another surprise hits Lena, this time she was thinking if she really deserved Alex Danvers.  
  
"But Lilian---"  
  
"ssttt.. i talked to her. Long before today. I told her i love you and i wanna marry you, i kinda ask for her permission because your father is gone and she's your only parent."  
  
"I know it's weird, But I can feel she's happy for us, _for you.._ "  
  
"Alex, you don't have to do that." Lena gasp.  
  
"I would. I want to. Because you're special to me and you deserve all of it."  
  
"Alex.. i love you.."  
  
"I love you ten thousand more."  
  
"I hope this is not a dream, or VR stimulation, because if it's. I don't wanna wake up."  
  
"Of course is real. Or you want me to make you feel _real?_ ," Alex giving her a naughty smile, eyes on her lover's cleavage. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment coz i really want to know how you guys feels about it ;)


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